What scares me the most
At glance I seem fine and yet I cry and cry.
I read the scriptures to find if I am worthy of any peace but alas first the storm must happen. Then the rough patches and the calming.
Accepting wherever I go that the scripture's find me a way to learn. Not sure if I am deserving of such privilege but I still pray I get a chance.
And then there are times when I'd rather just wash out. Fade so that the turbulence in the storm finds me. Bending and twisting me. The punishment I so well need.
I create no drama. I don't create anything. I may have drama. I may be drama but so few see it. So few know it.
I just have to keep looking inside the scriptures.
I saw today bits of today's reading in JeremÃah that hit me hard. Realizing I am no better. (Jer. 5:6, 8, 21 &22) (Jer 6:21)
But the chapter that had my heart in rapid motion was Jeremiah chapter seven. (2,3, 9, 10,15, 16, 19, 29)
My piece of me just shriveled up when I read Jeremiah 7:9,10. I am that hypocrite. I am those types of people.
Then to know Jehovah won't hear my prayers. I think that scares me the most. Really terrifies me.
I think that is a really good feeling. The fear of loss like that. It's good right?
The tears that fall as I pray over not wanting to be forgotten. To be unheard. To be lost from his sights and protection.
This is good, yes, Jehovah?
I read the scriptures to find if I am worthy of any peace but alas first the storm must happen. Then the rough patches and the calming.
Accepting wherever I go that the scripture's find me a way to learn. Not sure if I am deserving of such privilege but I still pray I get a chance.
And then there are times when I'd rather just wash out. Fade so that the turbulence in the storm finds me. Bending and twisting me. The punishment I so well need.
I create no drama. I don't create anything. I may have drama. I may be drama but so few see it. So few know it.
I just have to keep looking inside the scriptures.
I saw today bits of today's reading in JeremÃah that hit me hard. Realizing I am no better. (Jer. 5:6, 8, 21 &22) (Jer 6:21)
But the chapter that had my heart in rapid motion was Jeremiah chapter seven. (2,3, 9, 10,15, 16, 19, 29)
My piece of me just shriveled up when I read Jeremiah 7:9,10. I am that hypocrite. I am those types of people.
Then to know Jehovah won't hear my prayers. I think that scares me the most. Really terrifies me.
I think that is a really good feeling. The fear of loss like that. It's good right?
The tears that fall as I pray over not wanting to be forgotten. To be unheard. To be lost from his sights and protection.
This is good, yes, Jehovah?
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