Just one more day, I begged
I recognized the look I gave. The loss I felt. I begged for one more day. Yet none could be had. I had lost you forever.
So long ago. A man I treasured. Trusted to the depths of my spirit. I longed for just one more day. Yet I knew I asked for too much. I begged for the wrong thing.
Only now that I look back, the tears were worthless. I knew that he was gone. Possibly forever. Though he soared inside my heart, inside my memories. So many times I would take walks to forget. To erase memories.
Still. I could not.
The last day, I said my good byes. I hurt so bad but I had to. There was no way to gain any time back with him.
Still in these moments I cry. I laugh. I recall. The way we push ourselves to forgo everything, just for another day. Just for the hope that a familiar face is here, standing with us. Not fading.
Soon to be a distant memory.
Life creases the soul. Experiences educate us in so many ways. Distances we go to eliminate all familiar locations.
So shallow is the wind. We stand opened for all to see, hoping that someone can reach out and help us. Yet we step back so fast, creating the image that strength is what we muster. More like we sigh and drag ourselves away from people.
All in the hopes that being surrounded by those who knew us both, would not talk. Placing great miles between us so that we are "safe" once more. No more soreness. No more thoughts. No hopes of dreaming.
Though we forget we are still intertwined by experiences, by the education and life we had together. So many times hiding ends up being where we become a new piece of an old wound.
Even at in tendrils of lapsed ticking we hear people laugh, recall the grandness of words and events. We want to envy their joy, yet we don't. We run. We fly to another place.
Fading.
One day I want to see his face again. I want to hold his whiskers in my hands and look into his eyes. I want to tell him all about my life since the day I said good bye.
Maybe I will. One day.
Indeed I will.
Give him the biggest hug I have inside of me. Lingering on the time. Holding as though it has been a century when I saw him last.
One more time I will be able to say to him, how much I love him. How much the death was deafening. Oh and how I remained strong for him. I was the pillar. I stood tall.
Just once I want to hear I was loved. To truly feel it. To know I am safe forever.
One day I will tell him.
All that he has missed in my life.
I await that day.
Someday.
So long ago. A man I treasured. Trusted to the depths of my spirit. I longed for just one more day. Yet I knew I asked for too much. I begged for the wrong thing.
Only now that I look back, the tears were worthless. I knew that he was gone. Possibly forever. Though he soared inside my heart, inside my memories. So many times I would take walks to forget. To erase memories.
Still. I could not.
The last day, I said my good byes. I hurt so bad but I had to. There was no way to gain any time back with him.
Still in these moments I cry. I laugh. I recall. The way we push ourselves to forgo everything, just for another day. Just for the hope that a familiar face is here, standing with us. Not fading.
Soon to be a distant memory.
Life creases the soul. Experiences educate us in so many ways. Distances we go to eliminate all familiar locations.
So shallow is the wind. We stand opened for all to see, hoping that someone can reach out and help us. Yet we step back so fast, creating the image that strength is what we muster. More like we sigh and drag ourselves away from people.
All in the hopes that being surrounded by those who knew us both, would not talk. Placing great miles between us so that we are "safe" once more. No more soreness. No more thoughts. No hopes of dreaming.
Though we forget we are still intertwined by experiences, by the education and life we had together. So many times hiding ends up being where we become a new piece of an old wound.
Even at in tendrils of lapsed ticking we hear people laugh, recall the grandness of words and events. We want to envy their joy, yet we don't. We run. We fly to another place.
Fading.
One day I want to see his face again. I want to hold his whiskers in my hands and look into his eyes. I want to tell him all about my life since the day I said good bye.
Maybe I will. One day.
Indeed I will.
Give him the biggest hug I have inside of me. Lingering on the time. Holding as though it has been a century when I saw him last.
One more time I will be able to say to him, how much I love him. How much the death was deafening. Oh and how I remained strong for him. I was the pillar. I stood tall.
Just once I want to hear I was loved. To truly feel it. To know I am safe forever.
One day I will tell him.
All that he has missed in my life.
I await that day.
Someday.
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