No hate here.
Could I ever truly hate you? No. You were a good teacher of many things. Lesson I despise yet they will help mold me into a new person. Each day I wonder will I ever stop loving you? As a friend, a sister. Will I?
Maybe down the road I will look back and see the changes. The ones I hope are positive in your part. And yet all that I know of you, the reality bites me and says no.
Do I echo negativity inside of me. Sure. I thought I was somewhere only to see I was no where. No steps had I taken. No proof I had saved. All I had was hearsay. To make it all worse is somewhere in the twisted plot I thought an inkling of love.
Just that one tiny piece is what was holding me to you. That hope. That glimmer in the darkness. And yet I had imagined it all. The funny part is that you told me you needed me. That was by far the biggest line ever. Every woman falls for that. Believe me.
Hook line and sinker. You.
Now the walls and crying wails cease. What is the point in building a wall when I know I don't deserve love. I even once entertained the idea. No. My weakness is gone. I stand so close to temptation but I can walk away now.
I wander through the darkened rooms. I know why I continue. Just that line of grit I am made of. Strength that encourages all to keep going. The days will only become worse but I know I can survive this.
Sure I glance behind me a few more times. It may take decades to overcome, yet I can. I did before.
I know one day I will be passionate again. Soaring within colors, gemstones and travel. I seek only that now. All growing. My soil has be tossed and turned. Now it is weeded out and I am ready for the reality of serious growing.
The thought of all that are attached to you now. I just hope you don't hurt them. I hope they never feel the desperation of needing to hold onto you. The growing pain of loving you too much. I don't want that hardship on another woman.
Right now she claims you. She is in such joy. But does she really know all of you or just the bits and pieces? All I can do is pray that you remain loyal to her heart, to her. That is my hope. For I would hate to see another woman despising you like the many before me.
I learned. Hate only keeps you within me. You don't belong with me. You never have. That is why even in my greatest days of anger, I cannot hate you. I can despise your actions. But you, well you will always be a distant hope of joy.
Not for me. Just you. Because so long ago you lost yourself in a cave of lies. One day you will find that peace, that joy that part of you that jumps. I will feel a tingle in my heart and understand. And like all the rest of the men in my life, I will be happy for you.
Maybe down the road I will look back and see the changes. The ones I hope are positive in your part. And yet all that I know of you, the reality bites me and says no.
Do I echo negativity inside of me. Sure. I thought I was somewhere only to see I was no where. No steps had I taken. No proof I had saved. All I had was hearsay. To make it all worse is somewhere in the twisted plot I thought an inkling of love.
Just that one tiny piece is what was holding me to you. That hope. That glimmer in the darkness. And yet I had imagined it all. The funny part is that you told me you needed me. That was by far the biggest line ever. Every woman falls for that. Believe me.
Hook line and sinker. You.
Now the walls and crying wails cease. What is the point in building a wall when I know I don't deserve love. I even once entertained the idea. No. My weakness is gone. I stand so close to temptation but I can walk away now.
I wander through the darkened rooms. I know why I continue. Just that line of grit I am made of. Strength that encourages all to keep going. The days will only become worse but I know I can survive this.
Sure I glance behind me a few more times. It may take decades to overcome, yet I can. I did before.
I know one day I will be passionate again. Soaring within colors, gemstones and travel. I seek only that now. All growing. My soil has be tossed and turned. Now it is weeded out and I am ready for the reality of serious growing.
The thought of all that are attached to you now. I just hope you don't hurt them. I hope they never feel the desperation of needing to hold onto you. The growing pain of loving you too much. I don't want that hardship on another woman.
Right now she claims you. She is in such joy. But does she really know all of you or just the bits and pieces? All I can do is pray that you remain loyal to her heart, to her. That is my hope. For I would hate to see another woman despising you like the many before me.
I learned. Hate only keeps you within me. You don't belong with me. You never have. That is why even in my greatest days of anger, I cannot hate you. I can despise your actions. But you, well you will always be a distant hope of joy.
Not for me. Just you. Because so long ago you lost yourself in a cave of lies. One day you will find that peace, that joy that part of you that jumps. I will feel a tingle in my heart and understand. And like all the rest of the men in my life, I will be happy for you.
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