Outlook
Outlook of the evening finds huge parts of hope. Especially after I repeat to myself throw your burden on Jehovah. Several times I find my mind wandering to a heavy concern and yet I cannot let it weigh me down.
Still the mind flows to a pinpoint and halt long enough to just breathe. So many times today I had thought of words and I just let them go. I bothered my thoughts with things that no longer matter to me. Yet they worried me to no end.
I told myself to be quiet. Turn to thoughts that uplift and bring joy. Still there were parts that slipped through. I still decided to think over them. Now it has consumed me for the better part of an hour. Oh how I need to just sit down and write. Place all that is eating at me down to a place that Jehovah can take.
Then I need to shut it down and get up and carry on. Letting the negative and concerns to empty out of me. So that my night isn't broken from thoughts.
Oh how I want to say something and yet all is best to be silent. I have done enough and maybe too much. Then to overthink is just killing me. Perhaps that is what I need.
Not to wonder. Not to think. Just pray. Leaving everything that is digging inside of me, alone. Just let it die.
So much of me trembles and I only hope for the best. Yet I know my damage. I know the earthquake I brought. Yet was anything worth it? I don't know. I can't answer that right now because the big picture is not mine to provide. I am just a grain of sand on the beach.
One day I hope to know, see all my family and friends close.
I can only hope. And pray I did not destroy a life. Yet I won't know. I can only pray.
Leaving all in Jehovah's hands. Hoping.
Still the mind flows to a pinpoint and halt long enough to just breathe. So many times today I had thought of words and I just let them go. I bothered my thoughts with things that no longer matter to me. Yet they worried me to no end.
I told myself to be quiet. Turn to thoughts that uplift and bring joy. Still there were parts that slipped through. I still decided to think over them. Now it has consumed me for the better part of an hour. Oh how I need to just sit down and write. Place all that is eating at me down to a place that Jehovah can take.
Then I need to shut it down and get up and carry on. Letting the negative and concerns to empty out of me. So that my night isn't broken from thoughts.
Oh how I want to say something and yet all is best to be silent. I have done enough and maybe too much. Then to overthink is just killing me. Perhaps that is what I need.
Not to wonder. Not to think. Just pray. Leaving everything that is digging inside of me, alone. Just let it die.
So much of me trembles and I only hope for the best. Yet I know my damage. I know the earthquake I brought. Yet was anything worth it? I don't know. I can't answer that right now because the big picture is not mine to provide. I am just a grain of sand on the beach.
One day I hope to know, see all my family and friends close.
I can only hope. And pray I did not destroy a life. Yet I won't know. I can only pray.
Leaving all in Jehovah's hands. Hoping.
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