Heaviness
So tired of the weights of all I know. It is a continuous heaviness that I cannot wait to get off my shoulders.
Just a few days more and I can start turning around all the issues I had been holding onto. Letting go of all the things that hold me down.
Finally "exorcise" all this knowledge from my mind. To finally just be able to be real again. Feeling anxiety and depression from all that I have held.
Truly will be a sigh of relief when everything exits. My mind can then focus on the repair of my relationship with Jehovah.
Constantly I ask if service is allowed. I get a yes and then I don't do it. All because if I am trying to do good works on an empty spiritual bond I am hurting those who I am trying to reach. I cannot help them if I don't help myself first.
Slowly but surely whatever the outcome I know I will be okay. I will focus on what needs to be done to severe everything but my relationship with my Father, Jehovah.
I have learned burning a bridge and I have learned to repair. Yet I should have just left it burning. So that the coals burned the botTom of my feet.
Yet hindsight is alway's 20/20 .
I am learning. Slowly. Patiently.
Groom myself once more. Then remove everything down to the bones. Starting anew. Leaving the old soul in a pile of muck behind me.
Rewarding in a sense.
Just a few days more and I can start turning around all the issues I had been holding onto. Letting go of all the things that hold me down.
Finally "exorcise" all this knowledge from my mind. To finally just be able to be real again. Feeling anxiety and depression from all that I have held.
Truly will be a sigh of relief when everything exits. My mind can then focus on the repair of my relationship with Jehovah.
Constantly I ask if service is allowed. I get a yes and then I don't do it. All because if I am trying to do good works on an empty spiritual bond I am hurting those who I am trying to reach. I cannot help them if I don't help myself first.
Slowly but surely whatever the outcome I know I will be okay. I will focus on what needs to be done to severe everything but my relationship with my Father, Jehovah.
I have learned burning a bridge and I have learned to repair. Yet I should have just left it burning. So that the coals burned the botTom of my feet.
Yet hindsight is alway's 20/20 .
I am learning. Slowly. Patiently.
Groom myself once more. Then remove everything down to the bones. Starting anew. Leaving the old soul in a pile of muck behind me.
Rewarding in a sense.
Comments
Post a Comment