Don't make me a girl in my next life
There is a song when a girl gets married, don't let me be a girl in my next life. Yes it serves me so well today. I really don't want to be a female but I am.
The song just explains the low caste of what a girl is considered to a man. In all cases this is similar to men who play with women, never intending anything.
Ever wonder why I was okay with being low caste to you? No of course not. You had others you were holding closer.
I won't ask to be her equal. I would never dare to display her mental pieces. I am separate.
Even as today she told me so much. Yet is there any ounce of belief I hold in her words, no. Just as yours.
You were perfectly matched. Though it is sad to watch both of you fall. Even though I realized I was going to be the one you both hurt to gain your closeness.
I still see pity and sadness. And even right now as much as I despise the both of you I can't help but feel this emptiness you have left.
Neither one of you could get what you wanted. Perhaps in the world you will. Perhaps that is where you find real you. The real pieces that you can glue back together.
But I know in a few months I won't be here. I won't be assaulting your senses nor live within your city.
I tried to be something. I lost all parts of me. Not once but twice. I have to live with that.
I see you found the keys I was going to use against your car. No. No scratches because that is petty. Right now I want answers and yet I know I will NEVER get them.
And I have to soothe my spirit and my anger on knowledge I have from the bible. Unfortunately I learned much and watched my life change forever.
Again I will see it go on.
I must forgive, again. Yet I pray to forget. I desire deeply to forget. To erase your stains from my memory.
Eventually they will happen.
Just stop pretending. Be a real man, as she told you to be. Look for the reality of the whole matter. Step up and not play with others as though peaches and cream exist.
They don't. I maintain my distance to everyone even those who try to ask me things. I remain quiet. So much people are starting to notice my changes. I hope they see your falseness soon.
When all is over. I want to be removed and helped sent to where I can grow. For here I am not.
I hate Charlotte. It's the worst place I have live, second is the tiny hole in your depleted heart. Oh wait, I fool myself. I never lived there.
Right. Yes.
The song just explains the low caste of what a girl is considered to a man. In all cases this is similar to men who play with women, never intending anything.
Ever wonder why I was okay with being low caste to you? No of course not. You had others you were holding closer.
I won't ask to be her equal. I would never dare to display her mental pieces. I am separate.
Even as today she told me so much. Yet is there any ounce of belief I hold in her words, no. Just as yours.
You were perfectly matched. Though it is sad to watch both of you fall. Even though I realized I was going to be the one you both hurt to gain your closeness.
I still see pity and sadness. And even right now as much as I despise the both of you I can't help but feel this emptiness you have left.
Neither one of you could get what you wanted. Perhaps in the world you will. Perhaps that is where you find real you. The real pieces that you can glue back together.
But I know in a few months I won't be here. I won't be assaulting your senses nor live within your city.
I tried to be something. I lost all parts of me. Not once but twice. I have to live with that.
I see you found the keys I was going to use against your car. No. No scratches because that is petty. Right now I want answers and yet I know I will NEVER get them.
And I have to soothe my spirit and my anger on knowledge I have from the bible. Unfortunately I learned much and watched my life change forever.
Again I will see it go on.
I must forgive, again. Yet I pray to forget. I desire deeply to forget. To erase your stains from my memory.
Eventually they will happen.
Just stop pretending. Be a real man, as she told you to be. Look for the reality of the whole matter. Step up and not play with others as though peaches and cream exist.
They don't. I maintain my distance to everyone even those who try to ask me things. I remain quiet. So much people are starting to notice my changes. I hope they see your falseness soon.
When all is over. I want to be removed and helped sent to where I can grow. For here I am not.
I hate Charlotte. It's the worst place I have live, second is the tiny hole in your depleted heart. Oh wait, I fool myself. I never lived there.
Right. Yes.
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