No more

I don't wanna need anyone like I did before. I just want to hope that only Jehovah can keep me honed down to just service. I don't ever want to love like that again.

Losing myself here. No more. I let so much go. Not happy how I became such a lie and laying myself too low. I am disgusted how well I let all walk on me.

No more

I don't wanna miss you. I don't want to have the memories tell me how well and odd I was. I just want to be me. No more allowances.

Take in all the air. Inhale as my heart dies.  I just don't wanna miss what could never be. I don't want to recall that feeling. That lost  feelings because it's not safe to be alone in everything. Siding with emptiness inside of me. No. No more.

I am Mary. I am real. I loved hard and too much. I am tired and my heart, oh I want it to slow down. To disappear so no more feeling what dirt feels like.

I am real.  I hope I helped you where you needed it. I pray that at some point I was something.

Yet now. I can't care.

I can't.  I don't want to either. For when I do all parts of me are lost. No more.