Visual thoughts
Once upon a time I believed that visions meant something. That they could taunt and hunt you. Yet now I know that all the can do is taint you. The can bring joy. The can search heat and find passion. They can bring sorrow. Even tears to a jerky alertness.
I once thought of voices inside my head. The whispers that cradled sarcastic remarks. I realized that I was being crude to myself for just loving the wrong person. I joked. I cracked hateful remarks upon myself. Yes I even began to believe I was crazy. For that is what people who had vision were, loonies.
I allowed the nasty words to crease my mind. Spin webs down my spine and pull tangents across my memories. Who would have thought that I could do that to myself? All because I care too much.
At last the tokens of friendships were broken. I even pushed them further into saying, speaking my great staggering words of hatred. Though I thought it would help breath, help me break free. Yet it did not. I only learned more of my personality that of his.
I stepped so far from the blazing bridge that I was a suspect of the arson. Yet I beam in pride over it. Accepting my counsel.
No longer can anything be taken back. No longer can I attain that photo framed. No longer can I ask for that figure on a ring. I am just bound myself. Bound to be blinded and shaken. Yet it is what I needed.
I lost so much in these last few months. More so in the last few weeks. It feels as though thousand of years have passed and only my dreams hold me together.
Yes I am tainted. I have to learn to be real now. Look forward to the new paths and see how far I get on my own.
Careful, I ask. Be careful of what you hear. I know, now, only echoes of time enter me. Forget I existed in your life. I warrant I am not capable of being a memory. Even as a hated one.
I stride in life now. Just pulling apart the last bits of who I am, and who I will be. Soon. The nerves will end and I will be crossing space. Another day. Another time. We talked.
I once thought of voices inside my head. The whispers that cradled sarcastic remarks. I realized that I was being crude to myself for just loving the wrong person. I joked. I cracked hateful remarks upon myself. Yes I even began to believe I was crazy. For that is what people who had vision were, loonies.
I allowed the nasty words to crease my mind. Spin webs down my spine and pull tangents across my memories. Who would have thought that I could do that to myself? All because I care too much.
At last the tokens of friendships were broken. I even pushed them further into saying, speaking my great staggering words of hatred. Though I thought it would help breath, help me break free. Yet it did not. I only learned more of my personality that of his.
I stepped so far from the blazing bridge that I was a suspect of the arson. Yet I beam in pride over it. Accepting my counsel.
No longer can anything be taken back. No longer can I attain that photo framed. No longer can I ask for that figure on a ring. I am just bound myself. Bound to be blinded and shaken. Yet it is what I needed.
I lost so much in these last few months. More so in the last few weeks. It feels as though thousand of years have passed and only my dreams hold me together.
Yes I am tainted. I have to learn to be real now. Look forward to the new paths and see how far I get on my own.
Careful, I ask. Be careful of what you hear. I know, now, only echoes of time enter me. Forget I existed in your life. I warrant I am not capable of being a memory. Even as a hated one.
I stride in life now. Just pulling apart the last bits of who I am, and who I will be. Soon. The nerves will end and I will be crossing space. Another day. Another time. We talked.
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