I thought I was stuck
Jehovah gave me all these wonderful hobbies to bring the stress levels down. I couldn't do any of them for a few weeks. I just held onto the stress. I got angry. I spewed my mind to people. I explored the nastiness of people.
I needed to say what I needed to say to learn to loosen up, to finally be okay with everything. To move forward.
Standing up for just a moment. I look around. Make my mental notes.
Laughing. Dancing. Remembering all the goodness we had. And we had some good times. Those are the smallest moments of joy. They burst throughout me.
Twirl my arms around my waist. I lean in and squeeze. I know my hug will be enough. I know I will be okay. Safe.
Clarity is here. I entertain my mind with goals, notes and tons of lists. No more wondering if I meant anything to you. We are over. We have been for some time now. Never really rekindled anything after last year. Just adjustments. Constant plays.
The view of the world now, enters my head. The hush of my heart is here. I feel free. I don't know what will happen yet. My turn isn't over but whatever does, goes. It will be what it is supposed to be. I don't want to push back. I need to go forward.
I am this tree stuck in a muddy dam. I can't break loose just yet. The river swells and I rise but still there is so much underneath. I won't move.I don't grow. No where to go, just yet.
Though I already have found places I need to find. My smile finds a warm spot spreading freckled cheekbones. I have a choice. Either sit and wallow like some do. Or I can shine, after tumbling in the mud and ash.
My choice is to shine. I still am quiet a lot. I will remain so until I can be free. When all the stress is gone. I am already on the path. Soon the wooded area will break loose and I will be standing in the sunny rain.
I look forward to that moment.
Right now I must keep focused. Sure I will always care for you. It is just how it will be. Yet I can do it at a great distance. Knowing there is nothing I can do to help you.
I am good with this. I can move forward now. The steps I thought I could never take, I did. Today.
I cry in such wondrous joy. Freely flowing and not scared of the hurt, the pain. It is a dull ache. When my turn comes I will be okay.
My heart will heal. My mind will burn with new knowledge. I will build my spirit. My soul will dance. Especially when the rain falls.
I needed to say what I needed to say to learn to loosen up, to finally be okay with everything. To move forward.
Standing up for just a moment. I look around. Make my mental notes.
Laughing. Dancing. Remembering all the goodness we had. And we had some good times. Those are the smallest moments of joy. They burst throughout me.
Twirl my arms around my waist. I lean in and squeeze. I know my hug will be enough. I know I will be okay. Safe.
Clarity is here. I entertain my mind with goals, notes and tons of lists. No more wondering if I meant anything to you. We are over. We have been for some time now. Never really rekindled anything after last year. Just adjustments. Constant plays.
The view of the world now, enters my head. The hush of my heart is here. I feel free. I don't know what will happen yet. My turn isn't over but whatever does, goes. It will be what it is supposed to be. I don't want to push back. I need to go forward.
I am this tree stuck in a muddy dam. I can't break loose just yet. The river swells and I rise but still there is so much underneath. I won't move.I don't grow. No where to go, just yet.
Though I already have found places I need to find. My smile finds a warm spot spreading freckled cheekbones. I have a choice. Either sit and wallow like some do. Or I can shine, after tumbling in the mud and ash.
My choice is to shine. I still am quiet a lot. I will remain so until I can be free. When all the stress is gone. I am already on the path. Soon the wooded area will break loose and I will be standing in the sunny rain.
I look forward to that moment.
Right now I must keep focused. Sure I will always care for you. It is just how it will be. Yet I can do it at a great distance. Knowing there is nothing I can do to help you.
I am good with this. I can move forward now. The steps I thought I could never take, I did. Today.
I cry in such wondrous joy. Freely flowing and not scared of the hurt, the pain. It is a dull ache. When my turn comes I will be okay.
My heart will heal. My mind will burn with new knowledge. I will build my spirit. My soul will dance. Especially when the rain falls.
Comments
Post a Comment