Early dark morning

This morning I wake too early and already the day is pressured. The need to rush the morning light in a silent hush. Quietly I find myself learning about the day may unfold and all I really want to do is crawl back into bed.

Now the rest of the day seems so rushed and anxious. Silently I make my mind shut down. For the need of positive messages are high. Oh how I just hope to finish the day with relief. Yet still that is getting ahead of things.

The most important thing is to be grateful of my breath and eyes opening. The opportunity to fill the day with experiences and teachings. That is all I really need to hope for. And yet my mind jumps into pools of overwhelming worry.

I strive to keep all contained and I really don't. I am so ready to cry. Just holding onto myself this morning. The real need of a hug. I gently wrap my arms around myself and cry. I am ready to tackle this day.

My prayers are so quiet to the point of whispers in my head. The scared voice inside of me shakes yet feels the warmth. I don't ask for much today. Just patience and appreciation. The ways to understanding the genuine love shown.

I have to think that is what the day will bring. Hoping that when I arrived home I can take a nap that will calm me completely. In hopes that the mind will be refreshed and nerves released enough that food and drink can be had.

One can hope for this day. Yet the answers I search for will be in the completion of the day. I know my life will change no matter what after today. It is so needed. I am nervous. I am scared. Yet I am ready.

Each day leading has been the patience game. So I am hoping I don't come across as to anxious. I just have the need to know where my life is so I can continue to grow.

Probably why the morning is rushed today. The wake up was early. The mind is rolling over everything. I need to just go back to sleep. Yet its time for work. The day will pass by quickly. Then all my answers will be here.

This I will be grateful. Hopeful. No matter what I know I am loved and I need to grow. Learn about myself. Hold onto my spirituality. It will be hard but I know what the world is like. I have lived most of my life in it. It is nasty and for anyone to want to leave protection, I find crazy. Yet I also understand the need to be out.

So whatever happens today I must continue to grow.

So I will enjoy this early wake up. Enjoy the darkened sky. Enjoy the sounds of morning and pray that all empties where it needs to.