Their, Them and Notes

 Right now I just want to let the words say what they want. I don't want to pay attention to anything I am writing because it will only start to sound like a mess of jumbled words for some critic to find a new way to unleash their dictionary find of a word, to tease me with their "so called" knowledge. Yet they have never known me nor have they ever glanced into my life. Only by opportunity of a distorted magnifying glass, they have that viewed.

So you see nothing is what it seems. Men and women are at ends with their selves and cannot seem to choose what it is that they really want or need. And in the end all those that strive to be a big part of the story are always shoved out. That is the sadness that echoes throughout a soul, tearing the spirit into a million pieces. Yet if you really understood the layering you would know more than book intelligence. You would have these metaphoric storytelling vibe of truth that radiates from your core. 
Though most don't even know how to look for it. Some never want to explore even the circumference of it nor do the wish to express outside the desire of containment. See that is where a life can be destroyed. And no one would know nor care if that one singular person was ever here, standing in this solitary moment. 

Do you dare to entertain that you were once standing here? Do you dare question anything about how  you got to this point in your life? My desire is for you to exist with me, not surround me with your breath. I want all of your warmth to engulf me and even make me choke with the care and the love you exude. See that is the difference between me and all the rest of them. I am different because I care to the core of you. 

And still...  you crave to walk with their presence as a supporter of something you think may open a doors to. Yet does that surprise me? No. I have seen the warmth in your eyes glow when their appearance showers your eyesight. I am not foolish. I am patient. 

And that may make me sound simple or inexperienced but I am not. By far I am no where to what you think to expect and that scares you. My words to yours and theirs are different and yet somehow I make it known how I surpass them in all my levels of knowledge, care and understanding. Only because of the fights I have been in, the wars I have won. I have the battle scars beyond them. I do not compare and if they are what you need, I will gladly step aside, knowing, full well that I was right in the beginning. Only how, you ask.

If I told you I would scare you off so much more and that is a risk I am willing to take because I am confident in where I stand with myself. Whether you are here or not. I understand my place in this world and beyond. Do you? 

Yet you will say how can I know that? How can I possibly know beyond? There is no way of being 100 percent accurate until the days. It is just what is understood. 

And still..

I let you go whatever way  you must. I am understanding of much in my lifetime and I have seen so much. I am surpassing and circling for you to protect, just as the eagle does and the wolves do. I am in my protection mode and if you want to be a part of me, you must begin to come closer. 

If I scare you, that is not my intention but I cannot stop being who I am just to sort what you understand of me, out. That isn't how this goes down. It is either you acknowledge me or we stop.

And still.. do we stop? No. There is much to be said in the times like this. There is much, so much that is untold because you are not ready. Your mind isn't ready for what I know is real. And that is the most scary part for me. Only because I have to be still, silent and patient. You see I have to be still. Suppressed and quiet. Do you understand this? Do you understand this weight I have to carry until your mind is ready?

Then then there is the fact, will you ever be ready? 

That is something that concerns me the most but I know when it happens I will be ready. And still the mind is just a vast instrument when barely skim the surface of. That is the blessing and the cruelty we all have. That is the measures that explain how one person could use extravagant words to be pleasing to those who need to be but there are the ones that reach the masses.

So who will you be ready to listen to? Scary or not?

Though, now that all lays in your hands, your time, your effort. Your actions speak louder than words in so many cases and where do you want to play your action movies towards? Where do you want to focus on? What - them or she? And yet do you even know? 

This is where I have to stay neutral for you. I have to be the ground that is soft until I am not. This may become scary or horrific but I am not concerned with how you will react because I understand at a different level. SO where are you?