TIme pulled me
Time echoes the words that I already knew. I called out and waited. The wind helped me grow. Time pulled me back to my feet. Vanishing from my mind, the trace of your smile.
I cried the day you finally walked away. I listened as the words echoed inside of me. Yet even inside I said thank you. I wanted to beg you to remain with my thoughts, stay as my friend. Still I knew that could not be.
I laughed. Really hoping that I was the one letting go. And yet, no. I said my silent good byes. Held myself tight and gathered strength to keep going. I looked up to the sky and screamed. Hoping the echoes would carry across the wind, just so you could hear. At last I realize I was a fool.
The ache to be held once more, gone, forever. I randomly searched for ways to get a response. To gain the answers I already understood were never going to be heard. I so deeply chuckled. Chiding myself for wanting a yes to me.
Then the need to bury myself. So far into the grave I felt I would be happy. Death. Decaying. Sickening. I placed living self with the walking of darkness. I felt at ease there.
The days led to night. The search of whys raged inside of me. Just when I was accepting, a thought of hope glimpsed across a forum. A fool would look. A dreamer would hope. Both. I was both that day.
Yet.
Then I fought with myself, proving I was no longer that friend. No longer a foe either. Just a stranger to startling forest green eyes. The constant battle I declared with myself. The rolling arguments of just and pain. Still they improved nothing inside.
I was slowly decaying. Slowly dying. I felt you fade away from me. The images I held dear, erasing themselves. No longer the stains in my memories. A hurt but not an ache. No longer the lingering hope. All that disappeared the day I left things laying on the ground.
Pitched.
Now I gather strength in the oddest of places. Sources of channeling my hostile emotions into gathering, boxing those parts of me that need to be gone. Old things that can't mean anything now.
I released.
My mind pleaded with my spirit. And the spirit knows I need. Then one day I will reach out.
Today, no.
I cried the day you finally walked away. I listened as the words echoed inside of me. Yet even inside I said thank you. I wanted to beg you to remain with my thoughts, stay as my friend. Still I knew that could not be.
I laughed. Really hoping that I was the one letting go. And yet, no. I said my silent good byes. Held myself tight and gathered strength to keep going. I looked up to the sky and screamed. Hoping the echoes would carry across the wind, just so you could hear. At last I realize I was a fool.
The ache to be held once more, gone, forever. I randomly searched for ways to get a response. To gain the answers I already understood were never going to be heard. I so deeply chuckled. Chiding myself for wanting a yes to me.
Then the need to bury myself. So far into the grave I felt I would be happy. Death. Decaying. Sickening. I placed living self with the walking of darkness. I felt at ease there.
The days led to night. The search of whys raged inside of me. Just when I was accepting, a thought of hope glimpsed across a forum. A fool would look. A dreamer would hope. Both. I was both that day.
Yet.
Then I fought with myself, proving I was no longer that friend. No longer a foe either. Just a stranger to startling forest green eyes. The constant battle I declared with myself. The rolling arguments of just and pain. Still they improved nothing inside.
I was slowly decaying. Slowly dying. I felt you fade away from me. The images I held dear, erasing themselves. No longer the stains in my memories. A hurt but not an ache. No longer the lingering hope. All that disappeared the day I left things laying on the ground.
Pitched.
Now I gather strength in the oddest of places. Sources of channeling my hostile emotions into gathering, boxing those parts of me that need to be gone. Old things that can't mean anything now.
I released.
My mind pleaded with my spirit. And the spirit knows I need. Then one day I will reach out.
Today, no.
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