I thank you for the opportunity to be cold

I find myself laughing over things of my past. Why I couldn't just let it lay quietly there. Why I couldn't just disappear and move on. Ah yes. I loved too much. I cared to want too  much.

I am stupid in your eyes and yet I am more intelligent than you know. Only difference between you and me is that I chose my words wisely and I let so much crap go. Oh I forgive so much. How do you think I was able to move on from you last time?

How do you think it will make me go this time? I have strength inside of me. I never let you see that in me. You saw once how I survived a car accident. That is about as close to my courage you will see.

And to know I saw so much in you. So many parts of fake. Yet I kept going.

I learned my lesson and I know I will be served my discipline soon. I accept my part in your game. I accept my piece of your life a long time ago. I know I need to get hurt royally to understand who I was, once more.

Luck, if I believed in it, was that I got to be a part of your life twice. That I am grateful Jehovah used me twice. Grandness indeed.

Sad my eyes fall and I no longer feel caring toward you nor those collections around you. I feel sorrow and disappointment. Yet not that for you.

I no longer wish to speak at this moment. Its time for my drive and my coffee. My peace where lava lay burning my soles.

I don't feel it. I don't feel much anymore. Not after she told me everything. I can't feel any thing.

Thank you for that opportunity.