No longer do I dream in color
Wandering alone, in the darkest of nights. I stood in the mist. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and the light drizzle. I screamed. Not caring if I awakened anyone.
I had opened my spirit, my heart to so many possibilities. More that of impossible dreams. I made wonders so we could explore them. Yet no bites happened. Just mundane parts of life. I was not a substitute for anything, no part of you. I just got leftovers of another person.
I hold my ground. Stillness. Silence. So empty. Moments trickle into more. The truth in trusting is overrated. Millions of slashes I attained and I still begged for more. Ever wonder why?
How though can the fire inside of me still rage even though I am so cold? How can I feel those flames when I only felt hate for you? Ah yes. Fire, spirit was renewed. I saw there was no reason to hate you. I saw the need to have such pity on the lonely person. A vagabond to himself. Rolling in his misery with another.
I created ways to avoid you. Sought out walls to build so if I heard you, it would just be wind howling in my empty corridors. I wouldn't really listen, more of it I would laugh. Yet deep inside of me I want to show some portion of compassion. I am not at that stage yet.
One day.
Crawling into the day light, the dew from last nights rain settles around my feet. I display monotone smirks. Not quite ready to sparkle or shine. Just feel as though the dullness suits me for now.
When I look back. Maybe once there was great passion. Yet I have a feeling I only lie to myself. For if that were true I wouldn't have been the pebble in your shoe nor the dirt that settled under your nails. The need, the itch to get free of it.
I am free. No longer do I need to hope there was love inside of you. No longer do I need to linger in the daylight for a smile. I don't dream of you.
I see you but the images are in loss. I see the searching and the fading. I understand them but you never will. I feel sorrow for that.
And here I walk away. Not angry. Not in pity. Just lost hope for you.
No longer do I dream in color for you.
I had opened my spirit, my heart to so many possibilities. More that of impossible dreams. I made wonders so we could explore them. Yet no bites happened. Just mundane parts of life. I was not a substitute for anything, no part of you. I just got leftovers of another person.
I hold my ground. Stillness. Silence. So empty. Moments trickle into more. The truth in trusting is overrated. Millions of slashes I attained and I still begged for more. Ever wonder why?
How though can the fire inside of me still rage even though I am so cold? How can I feel those flames when I only felt hate for you? Ah yes. Fire, spirit was renewed. I saw there was no reason to hate you. I saw the need to have such pity on the lonely person. A vagabond to himself. Rolling in his misery with another.
I created ways to avoid you. Sought out walls to build so if I heard you, it would just be wind howling in my empty corridors. I wouldn't really listen, more of it I would laugh. Yet deep inside of me I want to show some portion of compassion. I am not at that stage yet.
One day.
Crawling into the day light, the dew from last nights rain settles around my feet. I display monotone smirks. Not quite ready to sparkle or shine. Just feel as though the dullness suits me for now.
When I look back. Maybe once there was great passion. Yet I have a feeling I only lie to myself. For if that were true I wouldn't have been the pebble in your shoe nor the dirt that settled under your nails. The need, the itch to get free of it.
I am free. No longer do I need to hope there was love inside of you. No longer do I need to linger in the daylight for a smile. I don't dream of you.
I see you but the images are in loss. I see the searching and the fading. I understand them but you never will. I feel sorrow for that.
And here I walk away. Not angry. Not in pity. Just lost hope for you.
No longer do I dream in color for you.
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