Reasoning is part of the circle
So many days I asked what is wrong with me. So many times I said it is okay. Reasoning with myself over the fact I am up to no good.
Constantly telling myself this is the day. Yes this is the day love comes into play. And then to be washed out. Saying all is for play.
I just played the idiot to your intelligence. But that is what was wanted.
A good fool. Just like so many unsuspecting ones now. I almost want to safeguard them from any words. Yet I cannot. I must make it so that they learn the hard way.
Some times that is how people have to learn. Only part is that it sickens me to no end that I can help them. I know the traits. I have been down the path and fallen on the tracks so many times.
Only thing now is to talk. To say to Jehovah what is inside my heart. The pieces that were repeatedly distorted. So many times I reasoned.
I don't know about you but that is not an easy thing. Yet I understand you move on, rapidly. It's almost as,like me, it is a pattern you just can't break. Old dogs can't learn new tricks. But let me tell you that circles get tiring to watch.
I would hate to see you break. And yet no longer is that my concern. I have watched you continue. I am not surprised at all your moves. Most of them, surprisingly, are the same. I remember some parts.
They say one day you get tired of repeating because by then you really hate yourself. Yes. Yes I have seen that. Yet there I see the circle started again.
And yet I am soooooooooo grateful I was tossed out of the circle. So happy when you freed me.
See you aren't the only one with circles.
Jehovah thank you for letting me see my pattern. Let me continue to hope others break free and become straighter. Actually liking themselves for once.
And I hope it is when they finish pursuing the pattern, like me they find their way back afterwards. And yet.
So Jehovah keep holding me. I hope only that the patterns break and that those who despise themselves will finally see their pattern.
Breaking free. Just as I did.
A hope. But I will never know.
Constantly telling myself this is the day. Yes this is the day love comes into play. And then to be washed out. Saying all is for play.
I just played the idiot to your intelligence. But that is what was wanted.
A good fool. Just like so many unsuspecting ones now. I almost want to safeguard them from any words. Yet I cannot. I must make it so that they learn the hard way.
Some times that is how people have to learn. Only part is that it sickens me to no end that I can help them. I know the traits. I have been down the path and fallen on the tracks so many times.
Only thing now is to talk. To say to Jehovah what is inside my heart. The pieces that were repeatedly distorted. So many times I reasoned.
I don't know about you but that is not an easy thing. Yet I understand you move on, rapidly. It's almost as,like me, it is a pattern you just can't break. Old dogs can't learn new tricks. But let me tell you that circles get tiring to watch.
I would hate to see you break. And yet no longer is that my concern. I have watched you continue. I am not surprised at all your moves. Most of them, surprisingly, are the same. I remember some parts.
They say one day you get tired of repeating because by then you really hate yourself. Yes. Yes I have seen that. Yet there I see the circle started again.
And yet I am soooooooooo grateful I was tossed out of the circle. So happy when you freed me.
See you aren't the only one with circles.
Jehovah thank you for letting me see my pattern. Let me continue to hope others break free and become straighter. Actually liking themselves for once.
And I hope it is when they finish pursuing the pattern, like me they find their way back afterwards. And yet.
So Jehovah keep holding me. I hope only that the patterns break and that those who despise themselves will finally see their pattern.
Breaking free. Just as I did.
A hope. But I will never know.
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