There were 2. I am not like them

I think about all the women in my family. Hardship. Things they did that destroyed and things that destroyed them. Only 2 didn't make it. Only 2 out a long line of women. What can I say. My childhood has been about these strong women.

So why would I give up like the 2. Not capable of moving like the 2. Just not me.

I have been hit with an array of assaults and have dealt out quite a few of my own. I know I must stand up, keep moving and make it what ever it can be. The life has to want to maintain a force of motion.

So yeah I probably have  disappointed many people in my family and I am sure the disasters of my ancestors should make me wallow and yet that doesn't stop me. 

Jehovah found me for a reason. Granted I can't begin to understand what it is because I keep fumbling like an idiot child. Shrugs I just have to know that he has the bigger picture and that one day I will be able to understand.

Still all the women have told me never to back down to any attack whether I started it or someone else did. Just realize that God can help. These women are weak and strong. Just as I am.

So am I like the 2 who just couldn't make it? That love and life was just too hard to continue to move? No. I am not.