Pray for the nerves to end
Now I am home and my heart is just racing. It is appropriate for the situation at hand.Trying my hardest not to be shaking but I have to be truthful. I feel as though I should run and hide. Yet I know I must not.
I can't say much about the whole day except I got out of Savannah in record timing. Surprised by that considering what was going on downtown. Thankful of a great gps that rerouted me straight onto the highway as fast as possible.
I was in the next state in less than 30 minutes and in a search of a Starbucks for real coffee. La. It took a whole 2 hours to find a Starbucks but it all worked out well for me. I got to listen to the wind on the car and the silence inside.
A time of thinking and meditating. I needed that. Even had my talk with Jehovah as my mother snored away next to me. That was so wonderful. Except for those driving by us, me talking to myself and my mom jaw ajar and snoring. Yeah a sight to laugh at I am sure.
Still I thought by the time I got home my nerves would be less. And now I know that not to be true. Not at all. Scared. Fear of what Jehovah has in store for me.
So clear that I made scenarios in my head of all the possibilities. I really don't like when I do that but I like to be prepared for whatever may or may not happen. Probably why many people don't like how I think. Yet it helps me in some ways. I should always think this way and not be swayed. Yet I was. I reasoned.
Anyhow. Hindsight. I have to learn whatever happens not to fail again because the time is getting so close to the great tribulation that I really can't afford to be lost again. I must now just pray.
Pray. Pray. Pray. Hope.
Then pray some more until I am a bit more calm before the hours end. Getting closer to the moment where I should be ready. I should be in state of mind.
Yet it doesn't stop the nerves. I can only hope that I don't throw up on anyone. These nerves of mine.
Still I won't know until then. I just gotta be patient. Wait my turn. Wait for my time.
And still.
I can't say much about the whole day except I got out of Savannah in record timing. Surprised by that considering what was going on downtown. Thankful of a great gps that rerouted me straight onto the highway as fast as possible.
I was in the next state in less than 30 minutes and in a search of a Starbucks for real coffee. La. It took a whole 2 hours to find a Starbucks but it all worked out well for me. I got to listen to the wind on the car and the silence inside.
A time of thinking and meditating. I needed that. Even had my talk with Jehovah as my mother snored away next to me. That was so wonderful. Except for those driving by us, me talking to myself and my mom jaw ajar and snoring. Yeah a sight to laugh at I am sure.
Still I thought by the time I got home my nerves would be less. And now I know that not to be true. Not at all. Scared. Fear of what Jehovah has in store for me.
So clear that I made scenarios in my head of all the possibilities. I really don't like when I do that but I like to be prepared for whatever may or may not happen. Probably why many people don't like how I think. Yet it helps me in some ways. I should always think this way and not be swayed. Yet I was. I reasoned.
Anyhow. Hindsight. I have to learn whatever happens not to fail again because the time is getting so close to the great tribulation that I really can't afford to be lost again. I must now just pray.
Pray. Pray. Pray. Hope.
Then pray some more until I am a bit more calm before the hours end. Getting closer to the moment where I should be ready. I should be in state of mind.
Yet it doesn't stop the nerves. I can only hope that I don't throw up on anyone. These nerves of mine.
Still I won't know until then. I just gotta be patient. Wait my turn. Wait for my time.
And still.
Comments
Post a Comment