Portions of me
As usual after an expression of emotions the prior day I wake to the mother of migraines 6 hours exactly from which my eyes closed last night. Oh I do so dislike having these mind boggling tremors in my brain. Yet I am thankful for just waking up.
For I know I am capable of managing through a day with such intensity. I can work, I can play and I can talk. Just a part of life for me.
Why do I even bother to let these emotions out when I know that a migraine from temples to lower back are going to assault me? I think it is the necessity to express the disappointments, the anguish and the tears of pain and hurt because if I keep it all bottled in I can destroy myself from within.
So this morning I will be cocooned in a room of darkness. Only responding to texts and sleeping until my eyes can tolerate more light.
Yes I realize what has happened is my fault and I am living with the consequences the way I need to. I bear in mind what must be done so my emotions don't react next times. Just so that my tears don't fall in presence of others either.
The initial cause was not mine. Yet it still hurts. I recall bits and pieces. Things I just need to throw away. Parts of the bloodied pain and learn to keep going. As I should.
So here I am reading my bible to areas where I can increase my strength, meditating. Yet I can't for too long because of the mother of migraines I brought upon myself.
And now I am going back to my cocoon.
For I know I am capable of managing through a day with such intensity. I can work, I can play and I can talk. Just a part of life for me.
Why do I even bother to let these emotions out when I know that a migraine from temples to lower back are going to assault me? I think it is the necessity to express the disappointments, the anguish and the tears of pain and hurt because if I keep it all bottled in I can destroy myself from within.
So this morning I will be cocooned in a room of darkness. Only responding to texts and sleeping until my eyes can tolerate more light.
Yes I realize what has happened is my fault and I am living with the consequences the way I need to. I bear in mind what must be done so my emotions don't react next times. Just so that my tears don't fall in presence of others either.
The initial cause was not mine. Yet it still hurts. I recall bits and pieces. Things I just need to throw away. Parts of the bloodied pain and learn to keep going. As I should.
So here I am reading my bible to areas where I can increase my strength, meditating. Yet I can't for too long because of the mother of migraines I brought upon myself.
And now I am going back to my cocoon.
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