Laughter in memories
This morning like all others starts in jitters. Ah but today is the day of stomach growling and little sleep. Oh not because worries.
Just that of restlessness, cold and uncontrollable laughter. Why laughter? Because of remembering thing's in the night but cannot even recall them when I wake. Hence why I laugh.
I recall some things but since I have no picture's nor have I placed details anywhere I don't seem to recall much if anything.
Sadly this works in the benefit of others. My lost mind ends up being completely lost and at times only partially lost.
By no means have I not struggled hard to recall and yet so much is gone. The repeat of childhood and all those disasters within but recent years I must cause a chuckle because of the complete blank face.
Ah so simple are the daily pieces and yet so far away they seem. Only days ago seem as though weeks. And last night is but a fading memory even as I type.
It is upsetting and I only pray that when asked question my mind will fill with memories. That the weirdness in me will cease as I explore those tiny boxes of dusted memories.
I hope I empty my heart and find a clean piece of me. Without all the tags hangin off of it. A completely pure piece. Is that even possible? With all I have gone through.
Still I do not know how much Jehovah will help me recall. To open all and finally feel every part of my life is out. All the way down to finally getting to tell my mom about thing's in past
Finally feeling free. This is what I hope for. This is what I hope Jehovah helps me explain. I hope. I pray.
It's what I need to move onward. Letting go of my childhood and finally being free of my bad marriage. The release of who I am finally explained to the brothers.
This is my renewal of Mary. I can only hope.
Just that of restlessness, cold and uncontrollable laughter. Why laughter? Because of remembering thing's in the night but cannot even recall them when I wake. Hence why I laugh.
I recall some things but since I have no picture's nor have I placed details anywhere I don't seem to recall much if anything.
Sadly this works in the benefit of others. My lost mind ends up being completely lost and at times only partially lost.
By no means have I not struggled hard to recall and yet so much is gone. The repeat of childhood and all those disasters within but recent years I must cause a chuckle because of the complete blank face.
Ah so simple are the daily pieces and yet so far away they seem. Only days ago seem as though weeks. And last night is but a fading memory even as I type.
It is upsetting and I only pray that when asked question my mind will fill with memories. That the weirdness in me will cease as I explore those tiny boxes of dusted memories.
I hope I empty my heart and find a clean piece of me. Without all the tags hangin off of it. A completely pure piece. Is that even possible? With all I have gone through.
Still I do not know how much Jehovah will help me recall. To open all and finally feel every part of my life is out. All the way down to finally getting to tell my mom about thing's in past
Finally feeling free. This is what I hope for. This is what I hope Jehovah helps me explain. I hope. I pray.
It's what I need to move onward. Letting go of my childhood and finally being free of my bad marriage. The release of who I am finally explained to the brothers.
This is my renewal of Mary. I can only hope.
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