I'd rather not.
Oh how I want to say things and yet the screaming halt they become in my mind. The sickness I feel from just pondering. Perhaps that is the goodness of my trust. The truth in who I am.
Though time hurts and the waiting of patience is clearly a tragic event I can clearly understand how I could look like a big fool or even bigger a whiner. Clearly I have learned that even though I don't judge people anymore that my mind beckons me to call those who I want things. Yet what justice is this? Clearly I have no right to even think of things.
I hope the night goes beyond what you want of it. Plus I hope that whatever you want is gained in multitudes. The laughter. The association. I pray the falling doesn't happen. Though what am I saying.
Never give thought to what I speak of. Because you don't anyhow, so why start.
Still the waves of confusion in how people actions speak volumes I hold onto hope that I never read any of it. I pray that I even have a glimpse I become washed away about the other positive things coming and going. So much that my tolerance becomes well built.
Still I build from only me. I learn that I am the one who is seated where I need to be. Not to be looking over any other plates at the banquet, nor longing for those I lost.
At this moment my eyes still water and I have issues claiming that the actions given did NOTHING to me. Clearly I have a need for showing my disappointment. Doesn't mean that anyone hears it. Nor does it mean that I will linger over it. It just means I have to clean up better.
Clear up things firmer.
Just means that I hope the best things for all. Even you. Then I have to just walk away. Trying my best not to feel anything nor show my weakness by crying. For giving you any show would just allow you to critique me and tell me something that will hurt me further. So I'd rather not let you see my weakness.
No one needs to gain anything from learning about me. Especially when the words I speak get used against me, repeatedly. Or benefit some one else.
I'd rather be hurting in silence. Because even though you'd try, you can't even break through the barriers. I let them down once for you. I learned not to, too much anymore. I don't need the impression of name calling. Much less the disbelief you so well show to me.
I'd rather not.
Though time hurts and the waiting of patience is clearly a tragic event I can clearly understand how I could look like a big fool or even bigger a whiner. Clearly I have learned that even though I don't judge people anymore that my mind beckons me to call those who I want things. Yet what justice is this? Clearly I have no right to even think of things.
I hope the night goes beyond what you want of it. Plus I hope that whatever you want is gained in multitudes. The laughter. The association. I pray the falling doesn't happen. Though what am I saying.
Never give thought to what I speak of. Because you don't anyhow, so why start.
Still the waves of confusion in how people actions speak volumes I hold onto hope that I never read any of it. I pray that I even have a glimpse I become washed away about the other positive things coming and going. So much that my tolerance becomes well built.
Still I build from only me. I learn that I am the one who is seated where I need to be. Not to be looking over any other plates at the banquet, nor longing for those I lost.
At this moment my eyes still water and I have issues claiming that the actions given did NOTHING to me. Clearly I have a need for showing my disappointment. Doesn't mean that anyone hears it. Nor does it mean that I will linger over it. It just means I have to clean up better.
Clear up things firmer.
Just means that I hope the best things for all. Even you. Then I have to just walk away. Trying my best not to feel anything nor show my weakness by crying. For giving you any show would just allow you to critique me and tell me something that will hurt me further. So I'd rather not let you see my weakness.
No one needs to gain anything from learning about me. Especially when the words I speak get used against me, repeatedly. Or benefit some one else.
I'd rather be hurting in silence. Because even though you'd try, you can't even break through the barriers. I let them down once for you. I learned not to, too much anymore. I don't need the impression of name calling. Much less the disbelief you so well show to me.
I'd rather not.
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