Ice cream

If ice cream churns what does my stomach do with ice cream?  Churn, screech and toss. Seated,  waiting.

The biggest parts of life. Learning patience and ways to settle rattled nerves so nothing embarrassing takes place.

Yet whatever happens is my doing. I did so much and so little. Then I drank something I knew would be worse in an already upset, unsettled stomach. Only serves me good that I took a chance.

A mistake in a huge way but I have to learn the hard ways, some times.

Days like today are rough but I am not nervous as I was earlier. This is a different form.

Thus is the eye of the storm before the big turbulence comes. Hence why I sit here way too early and sighing because the minutes are ticking slower than before.

I look into myself and pray that my fear shows the remorse. Yet not too much that I look like I could begin again.

Yet. The fear inside of me chokes. I hold myself full responsibility of all that I have places in my life, whether it be positive or negative. Good, bad and ugly. I chose.

Jehovah let me make my choices and now  I must live up to them. I am grateful I have to learn the hard way.

Thank you Jehovah for letting me go this path, so I can relearn the exact discipline I have forgotten.

Thank you.