I understood my message, Jehovah. Psalm 51
Psalm 51 holds high in my mind. I sing it in an undertone. Reading it over and over to comprehend all that Jehovah is giving me. I just rock. I hold onto my body tightly for I have realized I have been much like the ringing inside the message.
Yet me. I am no where near like David. I feel like I am Saul maybe even Cain. Yet I could not possibly be close to David.
I shake my head and wonder why Jehovah gave me these scriptures not just once but 3 different times. And I was told to do the same thing. How could I deny listening. I mean, 3 times. You learn not to argue with Jehovah, just listen.
Today I really don't feel that I deserve that much attention from Jehovah much less anyone else. All because of who I am, what I am. My hands shaken uncontrollably but I am somehow capable of expressing this message.
I am listening. Reading and scouring the message not once but every moment I get. I am researching and finding hope.
Still I find that is there really hope for me, for anyone? Can I be given new ways? I don't see how Jehovah can do that for me. I don't understand why he would want to much less express his love towards me.
I have found that I am welcomed in my darkness. Not sure if I want to stay but a few more weeks maybe.
For the very thing I lost I hope one day to find again. Yet that is a huge hope. Indeed.
Yet me. I am no where near like David. I feel like I am Saul maybe even Cain. Yet I could not possibly be close to David.
I shake my head and wonder why Jehovah gave me these scriptures not just once but 3 different times. And I was told to do the same thing. How could I deny listening. I mean, 3 times. You learn not to argue with Jehovah, just listen.
Today I really don't feel that I deserve that much attention from Jehovah much less anyone else. All because of who I am, what I am. My hands shaken uncontrollably but I am somehow capable of expressing this message.
I am listening. Reading and scouring the message not once but every moment I get. I am researching and finding hope.
Still I find that is there really hope for me, for anyone? Can I be given new ways? I don't see how Jehovah can do that for me. I don't understand why he would want to much less express his love towards me.
I have found that I am welcomed in my darkness. Not sure if I want to stay but a few more weeks maybe.
For the very thing I lost I hope one day to find again. Yet that is a huge hope. Indeed.
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