First place

Finally I get away and I receive first blessing.

An actual paycheck.

Well never was there a need for services rendered than before. Yet I am happy that there were never ones given.

Thankful for all the times people have given me money thinking that I can't go  on. If there had been love instead maybe I would have accepted that better.

Yet. Here I go. World in hand and life balancing on one string.

The bridges are burned. The day begins slowly as the tears continuously fall. Have patience for yourself so many people say. Yet how can I have that when I don't have it for anyone else.

I am ready. I just need to hear whatever words there are. I need to be able to say yes and go on. Yet did that matter to anyone else but me, probably not.

So what.

Good bye. Please stop reading my work. You are no longer a part of me. Therefore you have no inclination to see how I am doing because if you did you wouldn't do so, so anonymously.

Just shows too much weakness. No boldness.

I know never was anything to you. Just the pea that couldn't find the pod and the floating feather that clung too long.

I will never be first place. Never was the same thinker. Nor was I an understanding.

I doubt I can stop you from reading but why do you bother? WHY? what is your gain?