Zoom is off
Realizing how this week's watchtower is a blur to me. Yes I understand it but its the following week's one that is catching my heart.
Throw all your Anxiety on Jehovah.
How can I stress this enough. The crazy life that I have going on and all that is attacking me. Including the thoughts of fading away in Jehovah's organization. Truly the concerns, the anxieties and the stresses of life are really pursuing deep in my mind.
I really don't know how I even function anymore. Just don't seem to see myself anywhere at the moment. Just being. Not wanting to be here, nor there nor anywhere. Invisible.
Perhaps many of my friends feel the same way. Then again maybe they don't. Frankly I do just don't want to be here. I don't want to be near. I don't want to be there.
Dr Suess is good. The thoughts of how I feel altogether are just oblivious. Probably could be called crazy. I just know that here isn't where I want to be. So empty, numb and crawling out of wherever I am. Not really sure just hoping that I don't go back to this life.
So much uncertainty that I am ready to leap outside the box and hope some recognize I am empty and have been running on such for a year now. I think the time is to step back. Ready to focus on me. Not sure if that is selfish but how can I help others if I can't help me even begin?
So here. There. Yet no where. Rather be in a hole looking up at the sky than to be here. I at least know I will try to get out of the hole. Yet here I am just passing day by day with what hope?
I haven't given up on my dreams or anything but I just am, I just know that when I step down pressure is no longer on me. No longer the need to appear good, fine. I can step away and be content that I can move forward.
Perhaps is now the right point to step away. Knowing my circumstances. Yes.
I just want not to be here. How about you? Tickets collected and the zoom is off. Are you ready?
Throw all your Anxiety on Jehovah.
How can I stress this enough. The crazy life that I have going on and all that is attacking me. Including the thoughts of fading away in Jehovah's organization. Truly the concerns, the anxieties and the stresses of life are really pursuing deep in my mind.
I really don't know how I even function anymore. Just don't seem to see myself anywhere at the moment. Just being. Not wanting to be here, nor there nor anywhere. Invisible.
Perhaps many of my friends feel the same way. Then again maybe they don't. Frankly I do just don't want to be here. I don't want to be near. I don't want to be there.
Dr Suess is good. The thoughts of how I feel altogether are just oblivious. Probably could be called crazy. I just know that here isn't where I want to be. So empty, numb and crawling out of wherever I am. Not really sure just hoping that I don't go back to this life.
So much uncertainty that I am ready to leap outside the box and hope some recognize I am empty and have been running on such for a year now. I think the time is to step back. Ready to focus on me. Not sure if that is selfish but how can I help others if I can't help me even begin?
So here. There. Yet no where. Rather be in a hole looking up at the sky than to be here. I at least know I will try to get out of the hole. Yet here I am just passing day by day with what hope?
I haven't given up on my dreams or anything but I just am, I just know that when I step down pressure is no longer on me. No longer the need to appear good, fine. I can step away and be content that I can move forward.
Perhaps is now the right point to step away. Knowing my circumstances. Yes.
I just want not to be here. How about you? Tickets collected and the zoom is off. Are you ready?
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