Just a notice

Raised bumps. Liquid lava flowing.
Head held high even though steps are weakened.
Keep on moving because I must.

Strive to remain positive despite low times.
Confused. Exhausted.

I just don't want to fight.
I don't want to push anymore.

Lie down.
Put mind to rest for a few hours.

Pray. Pray. Pray.
Hope for the peace to relax.
Learn of the patience in building restraints within myself.

Lean on Jehovah.
Pray. Sleep.

Cry.

Scratch the surface and watch the marks remain.
Hope that tickles of burning end.

Lay down the covers.
Pray they are not heavy.
Chills throughout.

Yet here the catch 22.

Need the warmth.
Yet it gives more fire to the lava.
More ground to eat.

Not sure whether to faint or scream.

And I say nothing while I stand in peoples company.
I don't ask for pity. I ask for sympathy.
I hope that I don't look as bad as I feel.

Ah the hopes of soon the bad days go away.

Then all that is wonderful is vibrant.
I am back to being this coping individual.

Surely it is good to hope friends reach out.
Noticing I have not said any words in a couple of days.

It is always a hope people already know.

So I sigh. Now depleted of all the energy I had.
I go bad to bed in hopes my mind releases.

I hope to let the tears slide because no relief of pain.
Just the holding of a numbing fog.
One where I can just "be".
Not any one thing, just a soul moving.

A hope. A guess that I am not alright.

Yes. Sleeping away.

Good day.