The frustrations that weigh huge on me
I am so frustrated. I pretty much have lost my job. 11 years of working down tubes, in a way. I have seen so much in my years of retail. So many experiences.
Though these last few years, three to be exact, I have lost a lot of time due to finding out what illnesses have taken hold of family and myself. I have missed so many days of work for caring for my mother and trying to take care of me that I forget that I could be fired for something so simple as that.
I would have hoped that it would not come to that but I know that big corporations do not think of us small menial sales people. We are just numbers tattooed on paper, filed away in a computer. Not really heartfelt concern when discovering illnesses take place.
I can't be discouraged too much. Even though my brain is screaming nasty things about myself, my worst critic is me. I can't allow too much to soak in. I have to move forward by looking for a position that can help me sit part, if not all day verses standing. I have learned when I am sitting I am more productive and in less pain.
Truly a remarkable thing is that the pain I experience just tells me to keep smiling or keep quiet. I strive my best not to whine about what I do to forget all stinging, fire burning and lightning shocks throughout my body. The techniques I learned long ago to eliminate or "place" the pain in another area of body (kind of imagining the intensity is located elsewhere) making all more tolerable.
So rare is that I am capable of taking the ordinary tylenol or advil. When I do it is no longer tolerable - ANYWHERE!
Indeed I understand that companies don't have the time to just give their employees a bit of leeway, not even after years of service. Sadly they decrease the hours as a punishment of sorts, striving to tell certain ones they must increase flexibility or move on their merry way.
I get that. I understand. I truly understood when I was younger as well as now. I have seen the cycles.
So now I have been looking. Still what does my mind draw into? I relate to the sales environment forgetting there are rare places that allow you to sit half time and stand half time. Sales is go, go, go. Always on the move.
I now know I am not capable of constant movement. I am learning my limitations, slowly but surely. My illness does stumble me sometimes but I don't strive to make it the crutch I must lean on. Although I am still learning how to manage it. Time. Patience. I just hope wherever I go next, they have these two qualities so I can grow within their corporation.
For I certainly need to grow.
Though these last few years, three to be exact, I have lost a lot of time due to finding out what illnesses have taken hold of family and myself. I have missed so many days of work for caring for my mother and trying to take care of me that I forget that I could be fired for something so simple as that.
I would have hoped that it would not come to that but I know that big corporations do not think of us small menial sales people. We are just numbers tattooed on paper, filed away in a computer. Not really heartfelt concern when discovering illnesses take place.
I can't be discouraged too much. Even though my brain is screaming nasty things about myself, my worst critic is me. I can't allow too much to soak in. I have to move forward by looking for a position that can help me sit part, if not all day verses standing. I have learned when I am sitting I am more productive and in less pain.
Truly a remarkable thing is that the pain I experience just tells me to keep smiling or keep quiet. I strive my best not to whine about what I do to forget all stinging, fire burning and lightning shocks throughout my body. The techniques I learned long ago to eliminate or "place" the pain in another area of body (kind of imagining the intensity is located elsewhere) making all more tolerable.
So rare is that I am capable of taking the ordinary tylenol or advil. When I do it is no longer tolerable - ANYWHERE!
Indeed I understand that companies don't have the time to just give their employees a bit of leeway, not even after years of service. Sadly they decrease the hours as a punishment of sorts, striving to tell certain ones they must increase flexibility or move on their merry way.
I get that. I understand. I truly understood when I was younger as well as now. I have seen the cycles.
So now I have been looking. Still what does my mind draw into? I relate to the sales environment forgetting there are rare places that allow you to sit half time and stand half time. Sales is go, go, go. Always on the move.
I now know I am not capable of constant movement. I am learning my limitations, slowly but surely. My illness does stumble me sometimes but I don't strive to make it the crutch I must lean on. Although I am still learning how to manage it. Time. Patience. I just hope wherever I go next, they have these two qualities so I can grow within their corporation.
For I certainly need to grow.
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