A fool

Remaining still. constantly not allowing what hurts to eat into me. I let my tears fall. I don't even know what to say.

I am just a fool.
Just a fool.

Curled into a ball .  I cannot let it affect me. All this disappointment .  Sure I have to divert my mind.

Why I am not mad, just disappointed ?  Ah because it is not my right. Nothing is.

Just a fool.

For listening. For believing .  All.

Curled up in my ball. Looking away and to just think new methods are needed. I can't right now.

All the words bite down into me. Just like the venom from a snake. So deadly and yet I fight it because I hope.

Why? Why am I a fool?

Because I dared to believe in change. I listened. I let go. Yet here proven again.

Why do I bother? Why am I here?

A fool. All because I believe in caring too much. I guess that is why I stand firm through all the heat, through all the hurt.

Because I hope finding peace is wherever, whatever lengths you take .  tsk.. tsk.

Ah laughter. cynism. sarcasm.

Drowned in it because I wanted to hope of changes.

Now I understand the why I have not slept well. I still am hoping but I am a fool.

Go ahead, laugh at me because that is what you do constantly. Find names to place upon my head. I am tired.

I won't give up but I can let down. And I can ignore just as you have. I understand the smallness you believe I am .  I get it. no worries .

Such a fool.

Yes. whatever you think the answer is yes. Tired of saying no.

I don't was my hands but I let go .  Only way to nothe be a continuous fool. Hurts but okay.