All is with Jehovah
One more thought before I go to forget about people. Losing myself so that the heartache doesn't overrule my mindset. The hopes of just losing everything once more. The reality I gain from it. Perhaps that is how it all has to start again.
To lose to win. Yes.
Checking multiple times in the last 10 minutes what time it is shows that I hope for a text. Yet I know too much is late in the evening and to beg for attention is not who I am.
So I sigh to exhale the disappointment, again. Moving on. A bit chilled but what else can I expect.
Just the sibling in the hall mess. Typical response. I am tired of the distance and whatever. Yet it is exactly that WHATEVER.
Entering the cold night air. A bit of a rude awakening. A lone light dances across the night air. I laugh as it blinks. Causing me to do the same.
Reality of life. Wondering about too much only to realize nothing is necessary to be concerned about anymore. Simply put - I don't want to lose anything. Yet I know I did.
I am standing in reality as the brushes of cold allow me to freeze. I am okay with being numb. I am finding out just how effective it is. Good for me.
So when I completely disappear no one will notice. Only holding onto what I know.
So the grandness is understood. All is with Jehovah.
I am a storm of a woman. You either love me deeply or you get out. No more wishy washy. Either way I learn the lesson.
I hope I can be a positive choice. A positive need. Yet I think I am not any closer to that need than I was a year ago.
So listening to Jehovah. He says I am needed. With you, I don't know but I am wherever the need is.
To lose to win. Yes.
Checking multiple times in the last 10 minutes what time it is shows that I hope for a text. Yet I know too much is late in the evening and to beg for attention is not who I am.
So I sigh to exhale the disappointment, again. Moving on. A bit chilled but what else can I expect.
Just the sibling in the hall mess. Typical response. I am tired of the distance and whatever. Yet it is exactly that WHATEVER.
Entering the cold night air. A bit of a rude awakening. A lone light dances across the night air. I laugh as it blinks. Causing me to do the same.
Reality of life. Wondering about too much only to realize nothing is necessary to be concerned about anymore. Simply put - I don't want to lose anything. Yet I know I did.
I am standing in reality as the brushes of cold allow me to freeze. I am okay with being numb. I am finding out just how effective it is. Good for me.
So when I completely disappear no one will notice. Only holding onto what I know.
So the grandness is understood. All is with Jehovah.
I am a storm of a woman. You either love me deeply or you get out. No more wishy washy. Either way I learn the lesson.
I hope I can be a positive choice. A positive need. Yet I think I am not any closer to that need than I was a year ago.
So listening to Jehovah. He says I am needed. With you, I don't know but I am wherever the need is.
Comments
Post a Comment