Went out where I was needed
I went out tonight. Grateful to the migraine I had tonight. The kind reminder of crying over spilled milk. It was nice to be out and forgetting why my eyes wept.
I was out not for me. Yet being out made me remember most days are not about me nor is the day ever really gonna be odd. That I am just not lingering in the space but actually living.
The person I went out with calmed me in so many ways. I didn't have to say much but all I can say is that one look and it was understood I was living hard on my words. Yet, still, I did not press my concerns into her life.
I let her vent about things that were weighing on her. I let my remain calm after all I had experienced the last few weeks. Even after all the tears I have experienced I listened, not to respond, just to listen.
Just as loyalty is supposed to be. The wonderful feeling of those who uplift you. Help you carry on strongly. I was her help and she was mine.
Remarkable how Jehovah gives exactly the people you need after letdowns. Truly an amazing feeling when it is recognized and stated inside a conversation.
Sadly I missed other conversations but I have learned I have outgrown some people. Thathe my changes are not catered to their likings.
I had to learn that with every slamming door. The hardest way but it was finally taken inside of me.
Hardest steps are to prove your worth to people who really don't want to know you anymore. Then being thankful for the shutouts so you learn more humbling ways to be. Truly an experience to learn to be quiet too.
So this wonderful person invited me out to have coffee and a wonderful sweet dessert. I am grateful to get away from everything . people like her make you forget about your phone and any life that may bring heartache.
She is who I needed. Believe me I thanked her and Jehovah for this uplifting.
Sad at the moment, for hoping, that just one set of words would come tonight. Yet who am I kidding.
Not a fool anymore. Sad at moments because I want words, even angry words. Yet nothing comes.
I left my friend relaxed and ready for calm. Then I hoped for words and looked. Why? Why did I even bother to look when my gut told me nothing would be left there. Nothing is there. Not even a hello or a good night. But what did I expect. I made boundaries and some couldn't accept them. Oh well.
It is what it is.. as the world says.
Change is possible. If we're wanting to stay near the door was open but it does shut every once in a while. I hope the understanding of why is there and the deeper hope of wanting to put your foot in the doorway.
Alas I am a dreamer. I have ideals but I realize that reality of much is already been said and displayed.
And yet I still dream of this blissful friendship . Perhaps silly.
This is why my friend became my last minute sounding board. Told me rely on Jehovah because many things have come to those who trust in him.
I say yes. Many times I have experienced this. So I wait. I don't complain about the aches of my mind and heart for it gets me no where with you. I learned that my sappiness is not ever wanted.
So I am silent, quiet and humble. As a woman I am supposed to be, yes?
One day it will be understood I am needed more than you realize. I known that. I wait
I was out not for me. Yet being out made me remember most days are not about me nor is the day ever really gonna be odd. That I am just not lingering in the space but actually living.
The person I went out with calmed me in so many ways. I didn't have to say much but all I can say is that one look and it was understood I was living hard on my words. Yet, still, I did not press my concerns into her life.
I let her vent about things that were weighing on her. I let my remain calm after all I had experienced the last few weeks. Even after all the tears I have experienced I listened, not to respond, just to listen.
Just as loyalty is supposed to be. The wonderful feeling of those who uplift you. Help you carry on strongly. I was her help and she was mine.
Remarkable how Jehovah gives exactly the people you need after letdowns. Truly an amazing feeling when it is recognized and stated inside a conversation.
Sadly I missed other conversations but I have learned I have outgrown some people. Thathe my changes are not catered to their likings.
I had to learn that with every slamming door. The hardest way but it was finally taken inside of me.
Hardest steps are to prove your worth to people who really don't want to know you anymore. Then being thankful for the shutouts so you learn more humbling ways to be. Truly an experience to learn to be quiet too.
So this wonderful person invited me out to have coffee and a wonderful sweet dessert. I am grateful to get away from everything . people like her make you forget about your phone and any life that may bring heartache.
She is who I needed. Believe me I thanked her and Jehovah for this uplifting.
Sad at the moment, for hoping, that just one set of words would come tonight. Yet who am I kidding.
Not a fool anymore. Sad at moments because I want words, even angry words. Yet nothing comes.
I left my friend relaxed and ready for calm. Then I hoped for words and looked. Why? Why did I even bother to look when my gut told me nothing would be left there. Nothing is there. Not even a hello or a good night. But what did I expect. I made boundaries and some couldn't accept them. Oh well.
It is what it is.. as the world says.
Change is possible. If we're wanting to stay near the door was open but it does shut every once in a while. I hope the understanding of why is there and the deeper hope of wanting to put your foot in the doorway.
Alas I am a dreamer. I have ideals but I realize that reality of much is already been said and displayed.
And yet I still dream of this blissful friendship . Perhaps silly.
This is why my friend became my last minute sounding board. Told me rely on Jehovah because many things have come to those who trust in him.
I say yes. Many times I have experienced this. So I wait. I don't complain about the aches of my mind and heart for it gets me no where with you. I learned that my sappiness is not ever wanted.
So I am silent, quiet and humble. As a woman I am supposed to be, yes?
One day it will be understood I am needed more than you realize. I known that. I wait
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