Too late now.
I tried so hard not to care. Just letting everything slide by me but I am just ready to say goodbye. I can't take it anymore. I really have tried.
Here I thought things were better and the lies were okay to accept but I can't. It is just killing me. I guess that is what I get for listening only to myself. I turned 41 in January. Like always not a single change. I hate that you care for others when they turn ages but that is okay.
I have gotten over it. I am tired of being "helpful" and not getting any thank you. How many times does "awkward" have to arise? How many times do you have to call me names before I get how you really care? How many times do I have to endure?
I guess I have to learn that I am not really anything to you. I get that now. It hurts. And it makes my nights sleepless. But that doesn't matter to you. If you cared you would go beyond things. And yet what would "beyond" be?
Seriously who the heck am I kidding. I get it. I can't even begin to knock my head against the wall. Does no justice. I can only hope. Even that is laughable at this moment.
Why do I bother? Because I cared. I guess I was the played fool. Its okay. I invested but become unlisted. I don't want to interfere in your life any longer. I don't need to make you talk to me. I understand you have others you need to talk to. Go ahead. One less person you "have" to talk to. One less job you have to do.
I won't be your job anymore. I won't be the obligation. I wanted to be the choice. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. Kind of wondered why it took so long to come out the coma. Obviously I was trying too hard. No worries.
I have given up. I love you but I don't know how to deal with this right now. I don't even know what more to say because I expect some sort of "name" you will call me. I expect and accept it. Just tired. I tried.
SO you can tell me why some people in the world mean more to you than me. But I rather not know. Because I was once there and most days I wish I was back there. Just to have you look at me as a possibility of fun. Just one more year.
Ah. Oh well.
Too late now.
Here I thought things were better and the lies were okay to accept but I can't. It is just killing me. I guess that is what I get for listening only to myself. I turned 41 in January. Like always not a single change. I hate that you care for others when they turn ages but that is okay.
I have gotten over it. I am tired of being "helpful" and not getting any thank you. How many times does "awkward" have to arise? How many times do you have to call me names before I get how you really care? How many times do I have to endure?
I guess I have to learn that I am not really anything to you. I get that now. It hurts. And it makes my nights sleepless. But that doesn't matter to you. If you cared you would go beyond things. And yet what would "beyond" be?
Seriously who the heck am I kidding. I get it. I can't even begin to knock my head against the wall. Does no justice. I can only hope. Even that is laughable at this moment.
Why do I bother? Because I cared. I guess I was the played fool. Its okay. I invested but become unlisted. I don't want to interfere in your life any longer. I don't need to make you talk to me. I understand you have others you need to talk to. Go ahead. One less person you "have" to talk to. One less job you have to do.
I won't be your job anymore. I won't be the obligation. I wanted to be the choice. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. Kind of wondered why it took so long to come out the coma. Obviously I was trying too hard. No worries.
I have given up. I love you but I don't know how to deal with this right now. I don't even know what more to say because I expect some sort of "name" you will call me. I expect and accept it. Just tired. I tried.
SO you can tell me why some people in the world mean more to you than me. But I rather not know. Because I was once there and most days I wish I was back there. Just to have you look at me as a possibility of fun. Just one more year.
Ah. Oh well.
Too late now.
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