Indifferent and numb
Indifferent. Kind of numb. Not sad. Just numb.
No real emotion. I sit with a smile on my face but sighs inside my lungs.
Sleep tends to eliminate things but I have these vivid dreams that halt the peaceful hours of sleep.
Clearly I just stare off in space trying to dissect all the possibilities that unfolded in my mind.
The slow bits of joy.
And still there are things that lay low because I am numb. Causes eyes to tear just a tinge but not entirely.
I don't say anything. I don't want to because I have already lost.
I accepted many things long ago. Things can not go backwards. Only forward. I am fine. I have learned.
No speech finds me. No amount of times I pray, opens up the feelings. I am almost telling myself not to feel for the chance I may get hurt again.
So carefully I lay myself back down on pillows and curl up into the warm blue 60s blanket and find my dreams again. Waking in hopes of wonder.
Still I won't say what. If you know then you know.
No real emotion. I sit with a smile on my face but sighs inside my lungs.
Sleep tends to eliminate things but I have these vivid dreams that halt the peaceful hours of sleep.
Clearly I just stare off in space trying to dissect all the possibilities that unfolded in my mind.
The slow bits of joy.
And still there are things that lay low because I am numb. Causes eyes to tear just a tinge but not entirely.
I don't say anything. I don't want to because I have already lost.
I accepted many things long ago. Things can not go backwards. Only forward. I am fine. I have learned.
No speech finds me. No amount of times I pray, opens up the feelings. I am almost telling myself not to feel for the chance I may get hurt again.
So carefully I lay myself back down on pillows and curl up into the warm blue 60s blanket and find my dreams again. Waking in hopes of wonder.
Still I won't say what. If you know then you know.
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