This week is closing

I am so grateful today is almost over. This week has been horrible. Sickness. Anger. Words spoken - awed by. Attacks. Phone hassrassments.

I am ready for a new week. So tired of this mess. I know I was part and now I must sow all that I have done.

Yet nothing warrants for this week. The levels of stress has torn me away from anything creative. No means to paint nor twist wire.

The first day I listened to music was a miracle. Truly. Then two days ago I started thinking about the jewelry aspects of me. Yet even though I went shopping for pieces I could not sit down and do anything. I just stare at my workspace and see trouble.

No motivation at all. Same with my paints and canvases. Nothing.

Kind of sad. So many sighs. So many emotions. I just want some resolution so I can move on with my days.

So much of me wants the time to halt. So I can twist and turn the clock. And yet lessons learned are grand.

The day is winding down and I am grateful to just sit. As I do so all the adrenaline that was surging inside of me, has faded. Now I just cry my eyes out.

Is that allowed? Really am I allowed to feel terorized?

I don't know. I just wait for the emptying of me to come. Then the gasps for air to reign. I am just so fretful now. A rapid heart rate.

Then I sigh.

Praying that life is okay. I have to hope.

Oh how I cry again. Really?

I don't need a migraine and shaking.

Still I don't need to gripe either. Enough. Enough. When will this end?