Already set

Inching closer and closer. Soon the day arrives and I will be focused on my spiritual growth.

I have said all my goodbyes to people who mean so much to me. I now have to keep reminding them as much as they love me not to contact me.

That is the hardest thing for them to do. I have already accepted it for myself. Anyone who is important knows I will be back. But for those who don't know me, sorry but Jehovah knows my heart not you.

Sad that I trusted people. Sad that I learned the hard way not to trust in anyone but Jehovah. Even more deafening is the fact that I let people inside my walls.

I have learned that does nothing but harm the fragile parts of me. I can't deal with that level of stress anymore.

So I hope that one day I get to see my kids. I get to adventure back to California to see my cousin and his family on the way up to see mine in Portland. This will finally be good.

Yet not right now.

My demand is stay away. If only my children knew that. Yet I doubt they read.

Anyhow one can hope.

One day I will look forward to being able to get to them faster. Few more years and lone state will be a fantastic location.  Growing. Building.

Finally be able to settle and put my roots somewhere, far from here.

Perhaps selfish but I have to be now, otherwise helping people grow will only break me.

Hmm.