This is me now
I laid down my life for the eyes of others to see. And still not one person noticed the changes in me.
The eyes don't lie. They speak volumes to thousands if not millions and billions. So why give off the impression my life was worthless to them.
Oh how now the very parts of me fade from black into the muddy waters of transgressions. So many errors that even the heart stops beating.
Momentarily of course.
The mind rages over simple lights and grays. So much empty matter that even the air is crushed. The underlining dissolves into the thickness of brush and the spirit slowly emerges.
That of a butterfly, fresh from the cocoon. The beauty of the nights torn into this array of color.
That is how I feel.
Such a goodness after so much evil. So much lost because of people and situations. I lied to myself, reasoned to the point of dying. Only for what?
A moment with you.
Ah I laugh within now. Not in sarcasm just that of how simple, blind I could make myself. Losing the one person that should have mattered from the beginning.
Me
Today I became unstuck to the thorns. Loosened from the mud. Blown away by the wind.
I was free like that feather I always hoped to be. Not dead. Not lost. Just wandering.
So much was left this morning. A sigh was given when I told myself to go back to sleep. Instead I demanded a hello. I didn't get it but I was still in the air.
Heated.
So I pressed forward. Going and doing something that spoke to me. The gentle past entering my heart. Nomad.
Drifter. Dreamer.
Lover.
Peace I felt when I disappeared down the road. Entertaining myself at a huge gathering of my kind of people.
Bohemian.
Kindred.
Free.
That was exactly how I felt thrown in with thousands of people. Anonymity. Yet I was home. No need to explain myself. Just be.
Enjoy the wind. Enjoying the music. Ah just wandering and not lost.
Now the gradual understanding what my role was in some people's lives. It was to help them feel. Help the be real. Help them learn life.
I know that. I am at peace with it.
I smile. Certainly sure an old wound will read this. Still understand, I hurt no more.
I love you still but in a different way. I love you for showing me to be my dreams. That is the best love anyone could give me.
Ah as a tear rolls down my face. I wish I could hug you.
Alas no. But I smile for you.
Forever.
The eyes don't lie. They speak volumes to thousands if not millions and billions. So why give off the impression my life was worthless to them.
Oh how now the very parts of me fade from black into the muddy waters of transgressions. So many errors that even the heart stops beating.
Momentarily of course.
The mind rages over simple lights and grays. So much empty matter that even the air is crushed. The underlining dissolves into the thickness of brush and the spirit slowly emerges.
That of a butterfly, fresh from the cocoon. The beauty of the nights torn into this array of color.
That is how I feel.
Such a goodness after so much evil. So much lost because of people and situations. I lied to myself, reasoned to the point of dying. Only for what?
A moment with you.
Ah I laugh within now. Not in sarcasm just that of how simple, blind I could make myself. Losing the one person that should have mattered from the beginning.
Me
Today I became unstuck to the thorns. Loosened from the mud. Blown away by the wind.
I was free like that feather I always hoped to be. Not dead. Not lost. Just wandering.
So much was left this morning. A sigh was given when I told myself to go back to sleep. Instead I demanded a hello. I didn't get it but I was still in the air.
Heated.
So I pressed forward. Going and doing something that spoke to me. The gentle past entering my heart. Nomad.
Drifter. Dreamer.
Lover.
Peace I felt when I disappeared down the road. Entertaining myself at a huge gathering of my kind of people.
Bohemian.
Kindred.
Free.
That was exactly how I felt thrown in with thousands of people. Anonymity. Yet I was home. No need to explain myself. Just be.
Enjoy the wind. Enjoying the music. Ah just wandering and not lost.
Now the gradual understanding what my role was in some people's lives. It was to help them feel. Help the be real. Help them learn life.
I know that. I am at peace with it.
I smile. Certainly sure an old wound will read this. Still understand, I hurt no more.
I love you still but in a different way. I love you for showing me to be my dreams. That is the best love anyone could give me.
Ah as a tear rolls down my face. I wish I could hug you.
Alas no. But I smile for you.
Forever.
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