Tolerance and motivation
Sitting here looking around at my jewelry. Need a full day for listings. Ì just don't have the motivation for it yet. Such a long process to healing.
Even though I am slowing down I am grateful for the pace that is molasses because I am rebuilding muscles and toning all the right parts of my mentality.
In this I am a bit disappointed in myself. I could not work with the jewelry but I got to bake. A strong plus.
Even when I understood the exhaustion that sat at my feet. I kept pushing. Now my arms and legs feel the nerves spasming. It is tolerable and annoying.
Yet it just shows how much I can endure before I break. Yes I can stand this. Only time it is unbearable is when I cannot write nor hold my coffee cup.
Yet today I didn't let it stop me from taking notes. Many pieces that I need to meditate over. It was certainly eerie that one talk was about David and the other one hit right on point about spiritual need.
See with me I know I need help spiritually. Yet I first must relearn how to search and ask. Want to learn about how much Jehovah loves.
I just am having a hard time with it. But it will be soon.
Soon my mind will forget about all this crud in my head and I will be able to step forward.
And yet still. So much of me is wearing down.
Right now I took that high dose pain med to eliminate some of the pain. Even am willing to tackle the side effects and allergic reactions just to figure out how to hold objects tonight.
No griping.
I am enduring. Best thing I understand to do. Much appreciated are the kind thoughts and prayers I am sending for others. No I don't ask for any said on my behalf.
Jehovah only knows whether I deserve any of that.
So a tiny whisper of hopes as I sigh from feeling pain slipping from my legs. A softness. And no more tension in wrists. It is kindness and love when you ask and you receive.
Indeed.
Even though I am slowing down I am grateful for the pace that is molasses because I am rebuilding muscles and toning all the right parts of my mentality.
In this I am a bit disappointed in myself. I could not work with the jewelry but I got to bake. A strong plus.
Even when I understood the exhaustion that sat at my feet. I kept pushing. Now my arms and legs feel the nerves spasming. It is tolerable and annoying.
Yet it just shows how much I can endure before I break. Yes I can stand this. Only time it is unbearable is when I cannot write nor hold my coffee cup.
Yet today I didn't let it stop me from taking notes. Many pieces that I need to meditate over. It was certainly eerie that one talk was about David and the other one hit right on point about spiritual need.
See with me I know I need help spiritually. Yet I first must relearn how to search and ask. Want to learn about how much Jehovah loves.
I just am having a hard time with it. But it will be soon.
Soon my mind will forget about all this crud in my head and I will be able to step forward.
And yet still. So much of me is wearing down.
Right now I took that high dose pain med to eliminate some of the pain. Even am willing to tackle the side effects and allergic reactions just to figure out how to hold objects tonight.
No griping.
I am enduring. Best thing I understand to do. Much appreciated are the kind thoughts and prayers I am sending for others. No I don't ask for any said on my behalf.
Jehovah only knows whether I deserve any of that.
So a tiny whisper of hopes as I sigh from feeling pain slipping from my legs. A softness. And no more tension in wrists. It is kindness and love when you ask and you receive.
Indeed.
Comments
Post a Comment