I don't blame for my wrongdoings

I have learned through my years people blame who they want instead of owning up to their responsibilities. Sadly I have watched many fall too. Including myself.

Yet don't blame people for my wrong doing. I know the parts I played. I know the extensions I went to, to please someone. Yes I even know that it is my fault for my discipline. Yet I WILL NEVER take on someone else's part of responsibility.

I have done that too many times for way too long. I don't care who falls but others need to take up their own responsibilities.

I have taken on mine. No longer will I carry others. I retired from that role back when someone used me to be the bad guy for their wrongdoings. And played my life story as theirs. I didn't care about them anymore.

In my personality I door slammed them from my life. Not once but several times because they repeatedly came at me with the same stupid story. And even worse was the one who I thought was my friend, I door slammed them they day they believed my life was this other person's. I left the coldness there. I changed.

I never saw the point in behaving like I cared because it was PROVEN to me in word and deed that a life was being created within.

Yes that is why I changed drastically. I couldn't believe words from either person. Yet I continued to forgive. In due process forgetting that I was a real person. In case you don't comprehend what exactly a door slam is google it. Make sure you research it with personality. For then you will understand me, in a way.

Yet to see you do research now, I laugh in spades. You are much too busy to research about an old foe much less old friend.

Too much "work" for you to do now. Can't burden your mind with such things it will never comprehend.

Indeed.

 So here I sit in my darkened room praying this last time for you, once branch out and really see why I am the way I am. Why I strived to mean something. Even though it couldn't be given, try to learn before you decide to judge me, ever again.

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