The learning
I learned so much about myself in the last few weeks. I am grateful I told so many people as soon as I heard what will be announced on Wednesday.
Oh and how they tried to tell me until it is announced you can still talk to us. Yet I said what is the point in pretending and shocking people when they hear it. I said no. I cannot hurt my heart just to help them think all is well.
That is cruel. So most of the people I love know I am df. I even checked with those who were studying and all my coworkers. I won't pretend.
I learned that cry of stupidity before. It's time to be truthful from now on. I feel better no longer hiding.
Sure I messed up ways of getting to assemblies and conventions but I understand I will go when I can. When car permitting give allowances.
But I am grateful Jehovah gave me disfellowship because I had lost any reason to believe.
So far from having trust and confidence. So I have to learn if Jehovah is important or not in my life.
Sure time will tell.
Telling and erasing people from my life is hard but I must remember I do have a good support system with friends in the world.
Soon even more so is that this move I will be making will draw me closer to them. It will help me survive.
Yes even a survivor need support. And as crazy as things are I know I will be okay. Already have changed the pace.
More calm and peaceful. So Wednesday it wI'll be announced. No longer am I disappointed with the brothers. In their claim of my complete blame.
No longer do I any understanding of how, the why. But I don't need to. Life is life.
Or as many say it is what it is. Already learning about myself. Learning to love myself. It's a good adventure to have.
So to many, be prepared. I am.
I have told all that I loved, once. And now I am leaving. It's like all the weight is gone.
Is that how you feel about it? A calm? A peace?
Whatever you feel start loving yourself before you love others. Search for who you want to be. When you do, more peace and quiet will be inside of you.
A distant memory. Hug.
Oh and how they tried to tell me until it is announced you can still talk to us. Yet I said what is the point in pretending and shocking people when they hear it. I said no. I cannot hurt my heart just to help them think all is well.
That is cruel. So most of the people I love know I am df. I even checked with those who were studying and all my coworkers. I won't pretend.
I learned that cry of stupidity before. It's time to be truthful from now on. I feel better no longer hiding.
Sure I messed up ways of getting to assemblies and conventions but I understand I will go when I can. When car permitting give allowances.
But I am grateful Jehovah gave me disfellowship because I had lost any reason to believe.
So far from having trust and confidence. So I have to learn if Jehovah is important or not in my life.
Sure time will tell.
Telling and erasing people from my life is hard but I must remember I do have a good support system with friends in the world.
Soon even more so is that this move I will be making will draw me closer to them. It will help me survive.
Yes even a survivor need support. And as crazy as things are I know I will be okay. Already have changed the pace.
More calm and peaceful. So Wednesday it wI'll be announced. No longer am I disappointed with the brothers. In their claim of my complete blame.
No longer do I any understanding of how, the why. But I don't need to. Life is life.
Or as many say it is what it is. Already learning about myself. Learning to love myself. It's a good adventure to have.
So to many, be prepared. I am.
I have told all that I loved, once. And now I am leaving. It's like all the weight is gone.
Is that how you feel about it? A calm? A peace?
Whatever you feel start loving yourself before you love others. Search for who you want to be. When you do, more peace and quiet will be inside of you.
A distant memory. Hug.
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