I finally found me
Seated in one of my favorite places. The sounds, the aromas and the noise all calm me. I am able to focus on my school work and finally get down to achieving one of my goals. It has a been a long time coming. Almost twenty years waiting. It is good to finally have something under my belt.
Granted all that I learned in Jehovah's organization helped me to see that a college education will never be something I can finish. So certificates and diplomas sure. They will actually have a means to get me forward in my secular job. In fact may bring me closer to a focused study program. This will be the teachings I need to find my friendship back with Jehovah.
I understand it will be a slow process in that category but I am willing to see things as they should. I will be finding myself and finding out where I want to be. This is the fun part.
Sadly I will miss everyone I have come to know but Jehovah drew me through the oddest of people and he will draw me again. I understand this. So I hope that odd connection remains odd.
As for now. I am leaning into the screen of my laptop absorbing all the reading materials of visual design. It feels so good to finally have that taste of technical jargon I have missed. The old ways and the new. Just the few changes I have opened and will have to dig deeper to absorb but it is all good.
Slowly I realize that I have missed lots of things about me prior to marriage and divorce. I am liking the new pieces of me. The whole areas where I am really begging myself to be real. The whispers I hear that say YAY!
Silly perhaps but this is the nicest parts of being where I should be. Felt lost for so long and now I am beginning to feel I belong. It is a natural fit.
So be cautious and daring. Love and enjoy the new freedoms. Look forward to the moments when you can dance without a secretive nod. When you can sit with whoever you want and not have a note of wrongness.
This part I am grateful for. I smile. How about you?
Granted all that I learned in Jehovah's organization helped me to see that a college education will never be something I can finish. So certificates and diplomas sure. They will actually have a means to get me forward in my secular job. In fact may bring me closer to a focused study program. This will be the teachings I need to find my friendship back with Jehovah.
I understand it will be a slow process in that category but I am willing to see things as they should. I will be finding myself and finding out where I want to be. This is the fun part.
Sadly I will miss everyone I have come to know but Jehovah drew me through the oddest of people and he will draw me again. I understand this. So I hope that odd connection remains odd.
As for now. I am leaning into the screen of my laptop absorbing all the reading materials of visual design. It feels so good to finally have that taste of technical jargon I have missed. The old ways and the new. Just the few changes I have opened and will have to dig deeper to absorb but it is all good.
Slowly I realize that I have missed lots of things about me prior to marriage and divorce. I am liking the new pieces of me. The whole areas where I am really begging myself to be real. The whispers I hear that say YAY!
Silly perhaps but this is the nicest parts of being where I should be. Felt lost for so long and now I am beginning to feel I belong. It is a natural fit.
So be cautious and daring. Love and enjoy the new freedoms. Look forward to the moments when you can dance without a secretive nod. When you can sit with whoever you want and not have a note of wrongness.
This part I am grateful for. I smile. How about you?
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