Seated at my desk
I sit here at my desk just staring out the window. So much is involved inside my mind. So much of me is reading, accessing situations and planning.
Yet all you would see is me sitting in a pink chair staring out the window. Clad in my work clothes.
No need to understand what is going on in my mind. Just letting the hopes of the wind will disrupt the mind enough to break up the worry.
Not really worry but the idea of overthinking of my hopes for tomorrow. Indeed silliness but I really don't have any.
Just to wander freely in an area that makes me feel like me. One day.
And yet here I sit with wild hair but dressed for work too early. It is to be expected. I am always early. Even when I strive to be late. Something that itches inside of me remains. The pieces that have been placed in the grains of my dna.
And still. I get there too early. I see faces.
Now here I just stare. Look dazed and maybe even empty but I am not. Just too focused on all the possible situations. Then the ways to prepare for them. I wasn't prepared for this one but I will be for the next.
Each day I open parts of me. Exploring and finding ways to improve. Slowly. Bit by bit. And there are many ways I need to go forward with.
Then there is the excitement. Oh how the heart races and the throat chokes. All good though.
Then I settle. The mind closes up the boxes and my focus loses its dimension. Soon the haze that covers my eyes falls. The present is unfolded and I am looking at the branches before me sway in the wind.
The calm of thinking I am under the tree. My hair of golden sun and copper lifts with the new leaves. Tickling my neck with kindness.
So yes. My mind trails off several times. Yet I am so focused and strive not to lose all I am prepared to do and hope for.
Perhaps I am crazy to some. Others I am a hopeful dreamer. It matters not which one you are, just love me.
Yet all you would see is me sitting in a pink chair staring out the window. Clad in my work clothes.
No need to understand what is going on in my mind. Just letting the hopes of the wind will disrupt the mind enough to break up the worry.
Not really worry but the idea of overthinking of my hopes for tomorrow. Indeed silliness but I really don't have any.
Just to wander freely in an area that makes me feel like me. One day.
And yet here I sit with wild hair but dressed for work too early. It is to be expected. I am always early. Even when I strive to be late. Something that itches inside of me remains. The pieces that have been placed in the grains of my dna.
And still. I get there too early. I see faces.
Now here I just stare. Look dazed and maybe even empty but I am not. Just too focused on all the possible situations. Then the ways to prepare for them. I wasn't prepared for this one but I will be for the next.
Each day I open parts of me. Exploring and finding ways to improve. Slowly. Bit by bit. And there are many ways I need to go forward with.
Then there is the excitement. Oh how the heart races and the throat chokes. All good though.
Then I settle. The mind closes up the boxes and my focus loses its dimension. Soon the haze that covers my eyes falls. The present is unfolded and I am looking at the branches before me sway in the wind.
The calm of thinking I am under the tree. My hair of golden sun and copper lifts with the new leaves. Tickling my neck with kindness.
So yes. My mind trails off several times. Yet I am so focused and strive not to lose all I am prepared to do and hope for.
Perhaps I am crazy to some. Others I am a hopeful dreamer. It matters not which one you are, just love me.
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