Where I will be
Today just chilling. Normally I would be in a rush to prepare for something I can't even answer to anymore. Yet I still read and move around.
My priority is just the reading and prayers to Jehovah. Living life the best way I can. Yet no need for sitting in a chair while people whisper nasty words about me or stare at me for being partially the cause of ruckus.
If I wanted that I would be in a room full of past loves. Just the same feeling. Awkward and nervousness.
I'd rather talk to Jehovah as I can. For, I mean, I am not noticed for my voice anymore nor for the appearance either. Except to dissuade people that I am worthy of being in the same building to see Jehovah as my God too.
I am content with where I am now. No need for the downcast assumptions. No need for the ill remarks. See that is why I was here. I get that now. I helped set someone free. Most oddest way but I did my duty.
Now it onto repairing me. See I am always going to be a spiritual person. Yet I don't need to be confined to a building nor an organization to realize Jehovah loves everyone.
Yet I realize that I went about things, choices the wrong way. I wouldn't change much because it opened my eyes to so many things. I learned so much in my life that I am grateful for the lessons.
So no. I choose not to set my feet inside a confined building only to hear hushed voices as I make an entrance. Then only to hear that people tell me I blame God for my discipline. No. I asked, begged and pleaded for the course that happened. Because then I could relearn about me. And I was given this GIFT.
Yes it is a gift to me. Every day Jehovah allows me to wake up with a breath and a thought I am grateful.
Maybe you can't see it. But I am happy.
I hope one day you will be too.
Content. Happy. At peace with yourself. Enough to be sure you can stand out, shining your beauty. The emerald eyes radiant and the crooked grin beaming.
Perhaps I am silly in that hope. I just want that.
So no. I won't be anywhere but here, in my home or errands tonight. Beginning to be me again. Soon you will make choices and I hope you understand mine.
My priority is just the reading and prayers to Jehovah. Living life the best way I can. Yet no need for sitting in a chair while people whisper nasty words about me or stare at me for being partially the cause of ruckus.
If I wanted that I would be in a room full of past loves. Just the same feeling. Awkward and nervousness.
I'd rather talk to Jehovah as I can. For, I mean, I am not noticed for my voice anymore nor for the appearance either. Except to dissuade people that I am worthy of being in the same building to see Jehovah as my God too.
I am content with where I am now. No need for the downcast assumptions. No need for the ill remarks. See that is why I was here. I get that now. I helped set someone free. Most oddest way but I did my duty.
Now it onto repairing me. See I am always going to be a spiritual person. Yet I don't need to be confined to a building nor an organization to realize Jehovah loves everyone.
Yet I realize that I went about things, choices the wrong way. I wouldn't change much because it opened my eyes to so many things. I learned so much in my life that I am grateful for the lessons.
So no. I choose not to set my feet inside a confined building only to hear hushed voices as I make an entrance. Then only to hear that people tell me I blame God for my discipline. No. I asked, begged and pleaded for the course that happened. Because then I could relearn about me. And I was given this GIFT.
Yes it is a gift to me. Every day Jehovah allows me to wake up with a breath and a thought I am grateful.
Maybe you can't see it. But I am happy.
I hope one day you will be too.
Content. Happy. At peace with yourself. Enough to be sure you can stand out, shining your beauty. The emerald eyes radiant and the crooked grin beaming.
Perhaps I am silly in that hope. I just want that.
So no. I won't be anywhere but here, in my home or errands tonight. Beginning to be me again. Soon you will make choices and I hope you understand mine.
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