Go

I watched so many movies last night so I wouldn't have to think. I wanted not to be concerned with what may or may not be going on. I couldn't bear thinking that the prospect was same nor if worse. I had to allow myself to stay in a positive mode.

Hope for the best. Yet I know what was eating at me inside. The truth deep with in my mind and sticking a knife in my gut.

I tried to even sleep it off but I woke up with a sour stomach with rolling pits. It all just is hard to swallow. Yet I will never know. The parts of me want to ask but I just hope that the choices made with all inside, you chose whatever helps you grow.

Oh how I don't like this feeling. I know some portion of today will be spent at the pool. Getting burnt and experiencing laughter. I cannot be worried about you because I can't talk nor see you. So there is no point in allowing my heart to be weighted down.

I can only hope. Even from today forward that positive things roll your way.

All I can do but want to hug but I can't do that either.

Oh well.

Just letting the exhale out as I move forward into the day. Trying to forget things. Not thinking about how I could have helped. Yet I am only a mistake from your past.

I get I was. It okay.

Please if it was horrible just get out. GET OUT. For I know when it was like that for me I had to work. So I placed my heart into my work. And the beat the frustration out.

So go.