It's a new..

Realizing at some point I cried myself to sleep. Waking to this stuffed up face and screaming migraine I still am focused on maintaining my relationship with Jehovah, God.

Yet I see no means to attend ANYWHERE any religious format to praise him. I find my praise and joy towards him are freely given everyday. Through prayer and thanksgiving.

Much of what today is, is likened to a Niña Simon song.

"Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me.
Yeah, it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me, ooooooooh...
And I'm feelin' good. "

Finally for the first time in a long time I feel real and good. Capabilities of washing away every part of my life from five years ago until now. Just refreshing.

As for looking out for others interests I have blocked and spoken to the remaining people. If they stay watching or reading that is their TRUE decision. 

I play nothing. They can learn to love or hate. But I won't have them visibly watching me. Today I step completely away from everything.  

It's funny how people only see what they want. Always have. And it's sad. I just won't lie to your face nor behind your back. 

Unlike those people in organizations. Tickle their ears and heart if you must but don't blame me if theu cut you up. 

I have let go of their lies. Walking away. As for all those people who were "rooting" for me. Just let go. If Jehovah wants me he will find me. As for now I have seen injustices for 7yrs from people who said they were loving Christians. 

Please don't address me. Forget I was part of your life because God's people don't use their positions to prove cruelty towards others. 

Broken hearted I was at the beginning and all the way through. Jehovah finds those people. Suffering. True suffering people. I cannot express the levels Jehovah knows of mine inside my heart.

So take my lesson. Niña Simone says it best it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me... and I am feeling good.

I am set free