A gentle place
I settle myself down here tonight. Spraying the gentle words of Clannad inside my ears. The soothing pieces of I will find you raises my pulse only to bring me more hope.
Falling down into a gentle place. Instrumental notes help calm my current mode. The abrupt determination to stand high on my convictions of life.
No longer do I hold silent words. If I remain silent too long I die inside. What only that does is bring back memories I don't need to remind myself of. No need to brush fire over dying embers.
Sure I like to stand waving my hands and say pick me, pick me. Let's prepare for life but that isn't how it goes.
The rigid ideals do not hold me anymore. Schedules are somewhat routine and yet I am so flexible. Life gives me that opportunity. To hold that back hits me raw. So no instances to I adhere to setting an outline of the day, nor that of the week but what work brings to the table.
Sure I have limitations but those pieces don't have the expansion to kill me. They only bring the collection of protection. Yet it is only the boundary but there is much to explore.
I just need for some to get that. I am okay. I laugh. I am free but I still listen to the dreams I have. One day at a time I live, breathless and desirable I stand.
I care not who falls or even follows but just don't try to break me. I have felt too much of that to last a lifetime.
Each day I leap in thinking I will find you. Yet none of me really searches. And then there you are in my mind. Oh how you churn those memories. It stills my breath for a minute or two.
Then a release.
Today it was the air that tickled my senses. The cool air on my back. The way the wind pressed against my face. You may never understand how I feel in those moments but I will give a hint. Not just free but loved and kissedo by the images of smiles bursting within me.
Have you ever experienced such a moment? One beyond the idea of heat and heaviness?
I really want to know?
For me the wind, the rain and the stars always find ways to kiss me. The depth they go as I search for lightness and possibilities, I cannot express with accuracy.
So if you see me lift my head to the breeze or to the rain understand just how loved I am, how confident I can stand on my own. As for the stars, we'll they are the best reassurance that life is part of my dreams. That these steps, everyday, are going where I want to be. Even more is the knowledge I gain one more day to draw close to friends.
Perhaps a bonifide way to claim to be friends in the depth that true friendship can be. Not always an expected adventure but just the calm and silence too.
I am always here as a cheerleader to those who need love, support and confidence in themselves. I learned just how much that clarifies me as well as them. And I am grateful for any way to be leaned upon. Even if it just a curt nod.
And now the mind settles for one more round of a gentle place. Soothing. Perfect but in an imperfect mind and heart.
Me. Peace and calm. Not set rules just laying out who I am before you. And if that intrigues you, good. Be kind and varying in your mentions because you never know I might one say speak up and properly thank you.
In the gentlest of ways. Just being this person I am now.
Falling down into a gentle place. Instrumental notes help calm my current mode. The abrupt determination to stand high on my convictions of life.
No longer do I hold silent words. If I remain silent too long I die inside. What only that does is bring back memories I don't need to remind myself of. No need to brush fire over dying embers.
Sure I like to stand waving my hands and say pick me, pick me. Let's prepare for life but that isn't how it goes.
The rigid ideals do not hold me anymore. Schedules are somewhat routine and yet I am so flexible. Life gives me that opportunity. To hold that back hits me raw. So no instances to I adhere to setting an outline of the day, nor that of the week but what work brings to the table.
Sure I have limitations but those pieces don't have the expansion to kill me. They only bring the collection of protection. Yet it is only the boundary but there is much to explore.
I just need for some to get that. I am okay. I laugh. I am free but I still listen to the dreams I have. One day at a time I live, breathless and desirable I stand.
I care not who falls or even follows but just don't try to break me. I have felt too much of that to last a lifetime.
Each day I leap in thinking I will find you. Yet none of me really searches. And then there you are in my mind. Oh how you churn those memories. It stills my breath for a minute or two.
Then a release.
Today it was the air that tickled my senses. The cool air on my back. The way the wind pressed against my face. You may never understand how I feel in those moments but I will give a hint. Not just free but loved and kissedo by the images of smiles bursting within me.
Have you ever experienced such a moment? One beyond the idea of heat and heaviness?
I really want to know?
For me the wind, the rain and the stars always find ways to kiss me. The depth they go as I search for lightness and possibilities, I cannot express with accuracy.
So if you see me lift my head to the breeze or to the rain understand just how loved I am, how confident I can stand on my own. As for the stars, we'll they are the best reassurance that life is part of my dreams. That these steps, everyday, are going where I want to be. Even more is the knowledge I gain one more day to draw close to friends.
Perhaps a bonifide way to claim to be friends in the depth that true friendship can be. Not always an expected adventure but just the calm and silence too.
I am always here as a cheerleader to those who need love, support and confidence in themselves. I learned just how much that clarifies me as well as them. And I am grateful for any way to be leaned upon. Even if it just a curt nod.
And now the mind settles for one more round of a gentle place. Soothing. Perfect but in an imperfect mind and heart.
Me. Peace and calm. Not set rules just laying out who I am before you. And if that intrigues you, good. Be kind and varying in your mentions because you never know I might one say speak up and properly thank you.
In the gentlest of ways. Just being this person I am now.
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