Tangents
I go over all these thoughts in my head. Run on tangents that just won't shut down and I realize I am not quite content in certain areas.
So those will be areas I need to work on. Right now it's just work that has my preoccupied. I keep my head up and still reach for my bible. Still maintaining some sort of reach towards Jehovah.
Yet to attend a meeting isn't a disregard it is just the understanding that most places know me and have made assumptions. Because if friends upon friends have been seen at my workplace asking about me then I know I cannot have trust in people right now.
As for the demand of not letting any thing or person come between me a Jehovah. No one has but the standard of conviction comes at a cost of others owning up to their nasty steps.
Yet I know in this place, it won't ever happen. I am not making my own decisoon about things. I am waiting for Jehovah to help me.
He has thus far and I am not stop leaning on him for the answers.
At this moment my levels of anger towards man really upsets and disrupts me deeply. I cannoy allow that to find a root to cling to. Each day I am finding a way to forgive people of their hateful reactions.
Each day I linger on how I can improve myself so I don't judge. For I was judged for being an outsider. I know that. No one listened to me.
So I have to walk away from everyone here until I am good with understanding what Jehovah wants me to understand. Until then I do what I can to comply. Yet I still wonder why I was only connected. When others were involved.
I can't begin to understand cruelty to this level but I understand so many people are naive in the instance of things and have to lay blame at someone's feet.
It's saddens me that even some treat me like a plague but then taunt me at work. Why do that? Where does the love come into play?
I can't understand people that are like that. But I can only hope that they are recognized for their faults too. No one is perfect and I wish that people would stop acting like it.
So that is main tangent.
The empty people who were once friendly, I was cast out. Why only me?
How am I the issue when not just me was involved with the person. I can't understand and I pray that Jehovah explodes that soon. The fury lays within dividing even the congregation. Remember he isn't finished.
So I can only hope the right is righted. And then on life can open into REALITY for those hidden behind doors and family skirts.
Anyhow. My rant is over and people won't talk to me because I am no one's friend. I am though, friends with my father in building. So that is all I ask for now.
So those will be areas I need to work on. Right now it's just work that has my preoccupied. I keep my head up and still reach for my bible. Still maintaining some sort of reach towards Jehovah.
Yet to attend a meeting isn't a disregard it is just the understanding that most places know me and have made assumptions. Because if friends upon friends have been seen at my workplace asking about me then I know I cannot have trust in people right now.
As for the demand of not letting any thing or person come between me a Jehovah. No one has but the standard of conviction comes at a cost of others owning up to their nasty steps.
Yet I know in this place, it won't ever happen. I am not making my own decisoon about things. I am waiting for Jehovah to help me.
He has thus far and I am not stop leaning on him for the answers.
At this moment my levels of anger towards man really upsets and disrupts me deeply. I cannoy allow that to find a root to cling to. Each day I am finding a way to forgive people of their hateful reactions.
Each day I linger on how I can improve myself so I don't judge. For I was judged for being an outsider. I know that. No one listened to me.
So I have to walk away from everyone here until I am good with understanding what Jehovah wants me to understand. Until then I do what I can to comply. Yet I still wonder why I was only connected. When others were involved.
I can't begin to understand cruelty to this level but I understand so many people are naive in the instance of things and have to lay blame at someone's feet.
It's saddens me that even some treat me like a plague but then taunt me at work. Why do that? Where does the love come into play?
I can't understand people that are like that. But I can only hope that they are recognized for their faults too. No one is perfect and I wish that people would stop acting like it.
So that is main tangent.
The empty people who were once friendly, I was cast out. Why only me?
How am I the issue when not just me was involved with the person. I can't understand and I pray that Jehovah explodes that soon. The fury lays within dividing even the congregation. Remember he isn't finished.
So I can only hope the right is righted. And then on life can open into REALITY for those hidden behind doors and family skirts.
Anyhow. My rant is over and people won't talk to me because I am no one's friend. I am though, friends with my father in building. So that is all I ask for now.
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