Comfortable
I laid my head down. Slowly placing my hand up under my left ear. So sensitive. So achy but I know I will be okay.
I wanted to close my eyes but thoughts invaded me instead. My days gone, long and slow at times and too rapid in others. Then the images of my hopes impale my mind, savagely. Yet I have to press back because I cannot rush things. I have to place parts on hold.
So I lean into the warmth of my hand. Hoping that the throbbing ceases. Then down onto the grass I search. Knowing I will not see animals down on the ground but the tiny rivers of water streaming from gutters and decline in sediment.
But now I am just observing the ripples in the water now. Being memorized by it. Sad that all it takes is the weather to make me feel sleepy and serene.
Then the need to finish those cookies. I best just get up and take the dough out of the refrigerator and just start doing the balls.
Hmm.
Back down to listening to the outdoors. Just a little while longer. Feel the breeze and smell the musky, wet air. It is a comfort thing. More than coffee or a warm hug. Rain, storms make me feel at home, finally peaceful.
The cookies can wait. They are only for me anyhow. No one to share them with so I can take my time. Finish them whenever I want. Just before tomorrow though.
Hmm. Cuddling. Curled up in a ball. Just staring out into the backyard. Granted other apartments are around I just kind of zone out. In a world of my own. Maybe only a short amount of time but it feels like a lifetime seated there.
Comfortable.
The thoughts if, time could be erased or wound back. Still not going to be negative. My past is there, gone. Just memories and cold hard truths. Lessons learned and applied. Indeed no need to step backwards when the reality of life is before me. Yet I am zoned.
There in the trance for just a few moments. I laugh at that memory. Once. And now I let it slip away. Clouded under dust and boxes.
Perhaps it is just the reminder that the future may be brighter than then. Today is just cloudy with the storms raging only to clear enough room for the brighter times to come. I have to see that way. Seems like the cheesiest line in a movie but I am alright with saying it here.
So, come, laugh with me for a moment.
Now is time to think about the brightness of chocolate chip cookies aroma throughout the house. I gladly place it there.
Smiling.
I wanted to close my eyes but thoughts invaded me instead. My days gone, long and slow at times and too rapid in others. Then the images of my hopes impale my mind, savagely. Yet I have to press back because I cannot rush things. I have to place parts on hold.
So I lean into the warmth of my hand. Hoping that the throbbing ceases. Then down onto the grass I search. Knowing I will not see animals down on the ground but the tiny rivers of water streaming from gutters and decline in sediment.
But now I am just observing the ripples in the water now. Being memorized by it. Sad that all it takes is the weather to make me feel sleepy and serene.
Then the need to finish those cookies. I best just get up and take the dough out of the refrigerator and just start doing the balls.
Hmm.
Back down to listening to the outdoors. Just a little while longer. Feel the breeze and smell the musky, wet air. It is a comfort thing. More than coffee or a warm hug. Rain, storms make me feel at home, finally peaceful.
The cookies can wait. They are only for me anyhow. No one to share them with so I can take my time. Finish them whenever I want. Just before tomorrow though.
Hmm. Cuddling. Curled up in a ball. Just staring out into the backyard. Granted other apartments are around I just kind of zone out. In a world of my own. Maybe only a short amount of time but it feels like a lifetime seated there.
Comfortable.
The thoughts if, time could be erased or wound back. Still not going to be negative. My past is there, gone. Just memories and cold hard truths. Lessons learned and applied. Indeed no need to step backwards when the reality of life is before me. Yet I am zoned.
There in the trance for just a few moments. I laugh at that memory. Once. And now I let it slip away. Clouded under dust and boxes.
Perhaps it is just the reminder that the future may be brighter than then. Today is just cloudy with the storms raging only to clear enough room for the brighter times to come. I have to see that way. Seems like the cheesiest line in a movie but I am alright with saying it here.
So, come, laugh with me for a moment.
Now is time to think about the brightness of chocolate chip cookies aroma throughout the house. I gladly place it there.
Smiling.
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