Many changes in me
I have come to love how much of me is different now. So many changes and still so much more to come. Each day brings a new light. There might be trouble with it but all parts stand as a goodness. I seek the hope that is there. The cries of long awaited dreams.
And still I beg to ask.
Yet I don't ask anything.
I just inhale and exhale as I should. Then continue on down the road. Careful not to tread on people's feet and yet there are times I overhaul, placing them in the corner mauled to a pulp. Sadly it has happened enough times for me to realize what is going on. Maybe a little too late but still.
Then I just cry more. Letting myself really exit all that is upsetting me. Then somehow I end up telling someone. Only to see them letting it go. Telling people things I never wanted others to know. Indeed then the labels.
Shocking that I strive my hardest to stray away from labels. There was only one I thought I could but even in the end of that, I saw I could not handle the weight placed on my shoulders. So now I am back to being just me. I just hope that all is kind in many aspects.
Then and now.
Many parts going forward. Leaning into the day and not wondering about people. Just carrying on the ticking seconds as those of the last. Just how I am now.
For certain as the rock solid words are, I am grateful for every day to wake up. This is my new light. So pardon me for a moment while I dance in the pouring rain. Enjoying the feel of nature pulling me to my knees. Exactly where I need to be to see I am just a grain of sand in a larger beach, ocean side. Indeed I feel joyous.
And yet I still I am sinking in the ground only because I do feel smaller. So tiny. And yet with so much shine, love I am soaring out of the muck. Does that even make sense?
To me it makes much clarity in my life. Just as I breathe. The understanding of my place. I smile in a bit of joy. And I soar in the ways of freedom can be given.
That only means enough for me.
Though for others, maybe not.
For now the lights and the shadows will play within my eyes, my mind and will war within my heart but as I stand now, I know I am capable of seeing the good in many things. Even a correction from friends.
So here I gather myself. Just relaxing as I listen to the rain. Sweet musky aroma. Indeed I love watching pools gather and birds singing.
Perhaps that is just how free I am.
And still I beg to ask.
Yet I don't ask anything.
I just inhale and exhale as I should. Then continue on down the road. Careful not to tread on people's feet and yet there are times I overhaul, placing them in the corner mauled to a pulp. Sadly it has happened enough times for me to realize what is going on. Maybe a little too late but still.
Then I just cry more. Letting myself really exit all that is upsetting me. Then somehow I end up telling someone. Only to see them letting it go. Telling people things I never wanted others to know. Indeed then the labels.
Shocking that I strive my hardest to stray away from labels. There was only one I thought I could but even in the end of that, I saw I could not handle the weight placed on my shoulders. So now I am back to being just me. I just hope that all is kind in many aspects.
Then and now.
Many parts going forward. Leaning into the day and not wondering about people. Just carrying on the ticking seconds as those of the last. Just how I am now.
For certain as the rock solid words are, I am grateful for every day to wake up. This is my new light. So pardon me for a moment while I dance in the pouring rain. Enjoying the feel of nature pulling me to my knees. Exactly where I need to be to see I am just a grain of sand in a larger beach, ocean side. Indeed I feel joyous.
And yet I still I am sinking in the ground only because I do feel smaller. So tiny. And yet with so much shine, love I am soaring out of the muck. Does that even make sense?
To me it makes much clarity in my life. Just as I breathe. The understanding of my place. I smile in a bit of joy. And I soar in the ways of freedom can be given.
That only means enough for me.
Though for others, maybe not.
For now the lights and the shadows will play within my eyes, my mind and will war within my heart but as I stand now, I know I am capable of seeing the good in many things. Even a correction from friends.
So here I gather myself. Just relaxing as I listen to the rain. Sweet musky aroma. Indeed I love watching pools gather and birds singing.
Perhaps that is just how free I am.
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