Was I wrong?
If I was so wrong in the belief that she was involved? I know she is a talker and has been known to get out of things easily.
Yet even I want to know why she contacted me the day I was ACCEPTING I was the whole downfall. Even worse is why there was any mention of other things. All I know is you had to have spoken to her about things about me.
I think that hurt the most. Still makes me cry to think you called me crazy. You called me so many names to match your ex that I accepted I was never going to be good enough.
But so why did you continue if the life you wanted was with her. Why did you continue?
Was I really just a game and not a friend anymore?
I won't ever know what was true. Because you will never talk to me and she spoke a good speel to me. Yet I had heard all her words before. In her previous 1, 2, 3 and 4 guy.
So I can't understand anything.
This is where I can't be content. This unknown whisper that sits on me. Weighs down my head and heart.
So for the dear parts of who I am, I am running. Getting away as soon as I can. Just to help me grow as a person without the echoes of her, you and your ex and her ghoolies. I tire of the games and I want to live free.
So yeah this is the part of me that doesn't know how to be content. Some portion of my happiness is constantly bothered by betrayal. Of friends or said friends.
So sure we live spit distance and can go in circles until we are blue, but I only ask one thing. Do you regret ever being my friend?
Alas another question I have leave in the wind. Something that dies on the tip of my tongue, even finger tips.
I then just tell myself, if I was supposed to have known, then words would have been repaired. Yet none have.
So I find myself seated well. Crying a bit but accepting that those are just areas of my life that have to be erased or put away. Not to pull back at any time.
For if I start to wonder if I ever meant anything to you then I let you win, I suppose. And right now that is not ideal.
So head up and eyes shining. Walking, running away in the night. Not even noticing if people ask questions.
I gave up explaining. Just holding myself is good enough. At least I know I was good enough for me.
And I stand tall. Even though I am broken I still hold my smile. Because I am Mary. A woman from a long line of women that are true grit.
Tough and outlived all issues.
I look forward to my moments.
Yet even I want to know why she contacted me the day I was ACCEPTING I was the whole downfall. Even worse is why there was any mention of other things. All I know is you had to have spoken to her about things about me.
I think that hurt the most. Still makes me cry to think you called me crazy. You called me so many names to match your ex that I accepted I was never going to be good enough.
But so why did you continue if the life you wanted was with her. Why did you continue?
Was I really just a game and not a friend anymore?
I won't ever know what was true. Because you will never talk to me and she spoke a good speel to me. Yet I had heard all her words before. In her previous 1, 2, 3 and 4 guy.
So I can't understand anything.
This is where I can't be content. This unknown whisper that sits on me. Weighs down my head and heart.
So for the dear parts of who I am, I am running. Getting away as soon as I can. Just to help me grow as a person without the echoes of her, you and your ex and her ghoolies. I tire of the games and I want to live free.
So yeah this is the part of me that doesn't know how to be content. Some portion of my happiness is constantly bothered by betrayal. Of friends or said friends.
So sure we live spit distance and can go in circles until we are blue, but I only ask one thing. Do you regret ever being my friend?
Alas another question I have leave in the wind. Something that dies on the tip of my tongue, even finger tips.
I then just tell myself, if I was supposed to have known, then words would have been repaired. Yet none have.
So I find myself seated well. Crying a bit but accepting that those are just areas of my life that have to be erased or put away. Not to pull back at any time.
For if I start to wonder if I ever meant anything to you then I let you win, I suppose. And right now that is not ideal.
So head up and eyes shining. Walking, running away in the night. Not even noticing if people ask questions.
I gave up explaining. Just holding myself is good enough. At least I know I was good enough for me.
And I stand tall. Even though I am broken I still hold my smile. Because I am Mary. A woman from a long line of women that are true grit.
Tough and outlived all issues.
I look forward to my moments.
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