Paint
Sitting here looking over my recent paintings. Just getting out and being happy yesterday took so much of me to a different level. I know my place. Its with me growing.
I painted and have yet to finish one. Poppies. I love looking at their bright red petals in the swaying wind. So bright. One of my favorite colors is the vibrant red. I still need to add the green of the stems in some of the areas.
I was so happy last night. Getting my frustrations out and all. Still I hate when I get emotional. Even letting things roll into the talk of women. Its irritating how some can just be that shallow to disrupt someone's healing process.
See I know where I stood in this whole incident. I understood my place. I even accepted FULL blame of the breaking up of a marriage. I was okay with my doings. And I still do accept that blame. But I don't want to hear from any other female about places.
I don't want to listen to women gaggle over things I have accepted. To have their input disrupting the acceptance I have. That just is wrong.
As for me I AM healing. I am going through the motions but I am happy to go through these emotions because I learn something I am good at. I learn areas I need to work on. As for those in the congregation. Please just stop wagging your tongues. GROW UP!
Yes we are all imperfect. Yet some people need to accept their imperfections. Then they need to work on correcting themselves because I hate to break it to you, Jehovah sees all, remember.
So some need to stop hiding and lying and be truthful because when you are standing there being judged Jehovah will know when you were hiding that entire time.
Ugh. It just makes me so sure I was good in begging Jehovah for my disfellowshipping. I am so grateful for all the things I have learned about myself thus far. I learned sex is NOT important if conversation is there. Even more than that is laughing more.
I laugh so much its just wonderful to "hear" myself doing the hearty laughter.
Yeah I am happy with me and with my growth process. I am grateful Jehovah gave me some answers over the last month or so. Listening to what he has said. I have never once felt anger towards him for the answers. Even more so when humans attacked me I watched their frustrations and hatred show and all I could do was pray for them.
So I think I am on the right track. I am in process. Its slow but joyful in its lessons.
Just thankful for the moments of being free to be me. That is the greatest gift I have right now. Being me. This wonderful, emotional and carefree woman. I have learned much about myself in these days of solitude.
I smile.
And I hope even more that one day across the spectrum of time I can call one a true friend again. Right now I know the bridge and everything on their end is gone. I am okay with understanding that. But down the road? Well I hope to see that they make who they are, real and are truly, in depth serene about who they have become.
That is my wish for you my friend. :D
So smile.
I painted and have yet to finish one. Poppies. I love looking at their bright red petals in the swaying wind. So bright. One of my favorite colors is the vibrant red. I still need to add the green of the stems in some of the areas.
I was so happy last night. Getting my frustrations out and all. Still I hate when I get emotional. Even letting things roll into the talk of women. Its irritating how some can just be that shallow to disrupt someone's healing process.
See I know where I stood in this whole incident. I understood my place. I even accepted FULL blame of the breaking up of a marriage. I was okay with my doings. And I still do accept that blame. But I don't want to hear from any other female about places.
I don't want to listen to women gaggle over things I have accepted. To have their input disrupting the acceptance I have. That just is wrong.
As for me I AM healing. I am going through the motions but I am happy to go through these emotions because I learn something I am good at. I learn areas I need to work on. As for those in the congregation. Please just stop wagging your tongues. GROW UP!
Yes we are all imperfect. Yet some people need to accept their imperfections. Then they need to work on correcting themselves because I hate to break it to you, Jehovah sees all, remember.
So some need to stop hiding and lying and be truthful because when you are standing there being judged Jehovah will know when you were hiding that entire time.
Ugh. It just makes me so sure I was good in begging Jehovah for my disfellowshipping. I am so grateful for all the things I have learned about myself thus far. I learned sex is NOT important if conversation is there. Even more than that is laughing more.
I laugh so much its just wonderful to "hear" myself doing the hearty laughter.
Yeah I am happy with me and with my growth process. I am grateful Jehovah gave me some answers over the last month or so. Listening to what he has said. I have never once felt anger towards him for the answers. Even more so when humans attacked me I watched their frustrations and hatred show and all I could do was pray for them.
So I think I am on the right track. I am in process. Its slow but joyful in its lessons.
Just thankful for the moments of being free to be me. That is the greatest gift I have right now. Being me. This wonderful, emotional and carefree woman. I have learned much about myself in these days of solitude.
I smile.
And I hope even more that one day across the spectrum of time I can call one a true friend again. Right now I know the bridge and everything on their end is gone. I am okay with understanding that. But down the road? Well I hope to see that they make who they are, real and are truly, in depth serene about who they have become.
That is my wish for you my friend. :D
So smile.
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