With growth
With growth you attain these skills to put forward a new way to live. Kind of the bland beginning I had without knowing anyone. It's that experience that pushes us to expand ourselves to these unknown limits.
Only finding this interesting new trait or characteristic of ourselves. This beginning of really digging down to know who we really want to be, by ourselves. Not with anyone nor leaning into another class of choices either.
Yet what does this growth mean to us? To me? And how does the light expand itself to be this decadence that we thought was impossible to see?
Though now the real part of finding who you can be in your alone time is defining and in depth so severe that at times it scares you. Not in the sense of true fear but the exhilarating life changing charge. Yet what did you learn? What will you be able to achieve?
Not that what I attain in my lessons are the same as anyone else but to find that one person who searches great depth like me, quite an alluring notation. Indeed I don't suspect any one person could be like that.
Much worse if I examined their book would I be able to reach the same conclusion they reached. And yet to be in this conversation of learning and pressing new ideas before my eyes, I would understand the reality of who they are.
Sure not everyone I meet will want to indulge me with information about something new in their lives, how it changed them for good or bad. I understand to open that part of them is to seem like I am judging. Yet I wouldn't be. I would be intent on looking for the ways my applications of their lessons can play a role in my life.
Though still there are those I would like to pick their brains, so to speak, to dig into comprehending how, why they think this way or that. So I gather from my experiences that I am quite a complex, private person. I rather not even intertwine my life with any one person who isn't willing to give me a depth of them, from day one.
Perhaps that is too demanding. I know that is possible. Although I am not eliminating it from the hopes and goals I have.
And what do I bring to the table? A score of misunderstandings and life long closure. My identity lays behind several compounded levels. So severe that even though you have know me for years I still surprise you with new knowledge of me.
I also realize that can be quite a challenge for many to accept. I get that. Surprisingly I am not at all surprised. Just in a way shocked that it offends a great many.
And with that comes the lessons of growth. This built in understanding I do stand outside most places, looking in. Finding no real one person to connect too. It is that small bit of sadness that lingers inside of me. My own private sore spot, tender.
Though most would never guess it. They are too busy scrambling to label me. With that I have come to understand why I am best with just one true friend. Why I learned to back away from others. Not isolating but protecting.
Most just don't want to dig into me. That they just don't have the patience for it. In which I just have to move forward. Forgetting all about them except for the minor memories I hold dear.
Yet I keep learning. I keep diving. I keep searching. And one day someone will find the way to get to that core, really having the serenity to dig for who I am.
Until then I just settle for attaining my goals and achieving my dreams.
Only finding this interesting new trait or characteristic of ourselves. This beginning of really digging down to know who we really want to be, by ourselves. Not with anyone nor leaning into another class of choices either.
Yet what does this growth mean to us? To me? And how does the light expand itself to be this decadence that we thought was impossible to see?
Though now the real part of finding who you can be in your alone time is defining and in depth so severe that at times it scares you. Not in the sense of true fear but the exhilarating life changing charge. Yet what did you learn? What will you be able to achieve?
Not that what I attain in my lessons are the same as anyone else but to find that one person who searches great depth like me, quite an alluring notation. Indeed I don't suspect any one person could be like that.
Much worse if I examined their book would I be able to reach the same conclusion they reached. And yet to be in this conversation of learning and pressing new ideas before my eyes, I would understand the reality of who they are.
Sure not everyone I meet will want to indulge me with information about something new in their lives, how it changed them for good or bad. I understand to open that part of them is to seem like I am judging. Yet I wouldn't be. I would be intent on looking for the ways my applications of their lessons can play a role in my life.
Though still there are those I would like to pick their brains, so to speak, to dig into comprehending how, why they think this way or that. So I gather from my experiences that I am quite a complex, private person. I rather not even intertwine my life with any one person who isn't willing to give me a depth of them, from day one.
Perhaps that is too demanding. I know that is possible. Although I am not eliminating it from the hopes and goals I have.
And what do I bring to the table? A score of misunderstandings and life long closure. My identity lays behind several compounded levels. So severe that even though you have know me for years I still surprise you with new knowledge of me.
I also realize that can be quite a challenge for many to accept. I get that. Surprisingly I am not at all surprised. Just in a way shocked that it offends a great many.
And with that comes the lessons of growth. This built in understanding I do stand outside most places, looking in. Finding no real one person to connect too. It is that small bit of sadness that lingers inside of me. My own private sore spot, tender.
Though most would never guess it. They are too busy scrambling to label me. With that I have come to understand why I am best with just one true friend. Why I learned to back away from others. Not isolating but protecting.
Most just don't want to dig into me. That they just don't have the patience for it. In which I just have to move forward. Forgetting all about them except for the minor memories I hold dear.
Yet I keep learning. I keep diving. I keep searching. And one day someone will find the way to get to that core, really having the serenity to dig for who I am.
Until then I just settle for attaining my goals and achieving my dreams.
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