Midst a storm
I don't know if I could be any more confusing as I am right now. The conflicted bits of my mind just throw me into this turbulent mess.
Silently all I can do is sigh and pray. The tiny hopes I have for a later date rings high upon my list. Clarity even in the midst of confusion stings truthfully. Dividing the heart from the mind.
Several thousand miles from the next option. Positive control keeps me somewhat in an ordered chaos. Yet the ability to sift through what is tangible and what is imagined is well defined by the boxes checked off.
Indeed I am certain of one thing, I am capable of messing up many lives. I have given my proof. Yet what of my life?
Ah indeed I am strategically picking through the sharp pieces of life, careful not to cut myself too deeply. The images of how friendships started and whether the doors after being slammed shut, are locked or not. See that is the thought that stings me.
Do I want the door to be opened again or do I need to rush to lock it. I really don't know. And yet as much as the question weighs on me I still don't find that it is overwhelming.
Funny in my sarcastic smirk that follows the memories. The quake of giggles that wreck havoc. Just this clear point of friendships are true even in a fond memory. And still the reminder that the door can be opened if it is wanted.
Yet that is another story down the road. Another wonder and another conversation.
Right now I just need the mind to settle down into a pattern so sleep can overcome me. Even if only for a short amount of time.
A yawn is graced in the air. My soul stretches and finds relaxationing methods pulling heavy lids down.
Flickering eyelids. Baby blues turning to slates. Dreaming stages in process.
Good night people.
Silently all I can do is sigh and pray. The tiny hopes I have for a later date rings high upon my list. Clarity even in the midst of confusion stings truthfully. Dividing the heart from the mind.
Several thousand miles from the next option. Positive control keeps me somewhat in an ordered chaos. Yet the ability to sift through what is tangible and what is imagined is well defined by the boxes checked off.
Indeed I am certain of one thing, I am capable of messing up many lives. I have given my proof. Yet what of my life?
Ah indeed I am strategically picking through the sharp pieces of life, careful not to cut myself too deeply. The images of how friendships started and whether the doors after being slammed shut, are locked or not. See that is the thought that stings me.
Do I want the door to be opened again or do I need to rush to lock it. I really don't know. And yet as much as the question weighs on me I still don't find that it is overwhelming.
Funny in my sarcastic smirk that follows the memories. The quake of giggles that wreck havoc. Just this clear point of friendships are true even in a fond memory. And still the reminder that the door can be opened if it is wanted.
Yet that is another story down the road. Another wonder and another conversation.
Right now I just need the mind to settle down into a pattern so sleep can overcome me. Even if only for a short amount of time.
A yawn is graced in the air. My soul stretches and finds relaxationing methods pulling heavy lids down.
Flickering eyelids. Baby blues turning to slates. Dreaming stages in process.
Good night people.
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